“No kings”
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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I doubt there’s that much left of him apart from the dentures.
if the zombie apocalypse ever happens, there will be a lot of Black people he owned wanting to play football with his decapitated head
Chat, is this real?
Yeah. We're just really grateful he got us an ohio
this tradition stems for Washington holding a general rank in the British military before rebellion, and the US traditionally never having a rank higher than the one he held in the British military, so when we actually did need those ranks because practicality, they just bumped him up.
only a necromancer would be able ressurect george washington.
Only a necro-romancer would be able to lay him back to rest.
Only a neck-romancer would be afraid of Abraham Lincoln
Holy shit George Washington would hate this policy. He was done being commander in chief! That's why he stepped down after 2 terms! I get it's symbolic, but his whole thing regarding the office was "don't deify me."
Which would really explain why he might come back as a zombie. The rage just builds until he pops up out of his grave and shouts, "DID I STUTTER?"
And then after he says that, he turns slightly and says, "not that there's anything bad or wrong about people who struggle with their speech. What I'm saying is, IF YOU HAD TROUBLE HEARING ME, YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME AS MUCH IN 1799!"
"...You named how many cities after me?!"
"...The Capital?!"
"...And also an entire state?!?"
"Nope, you know what, fine. I am a god. And I am vengeful."
Bew Pest.
Which makes The Apotheosis of Washington pretty ironic. Beautiful, though.
I would say that the US is a very weird place, but then I remembered that this
is the flagship of the ~~British Navy~~ First British Sea Lord. She hasn't floated for literally 100 years.
So mostly I guess it's just that militaries are weird.
Yeah that's weird. You gotta keep your wooden boats in the water like we do. Our navy owns a forest for repairing our stupid wooden ship
but what about ceremonial anime swords in the US military?
I'd like to know more
Me too
The fleet flagship of the Royal Navy is currently HMS Prince of Wales.
The Royal Navy flagship is HMS Excellent (which is an island, not a ship).
Victory is the flagship of the First Sea Lord, and also has the largest crew of any vessel in the navy, as personnel are assigned to her on paper by default until transferred to an active unit.
The USS Constitution is still fully crewed, floats, and occasionally fires a few cannon shots.
Keeping history around isn't weird. Though I do think it should be contextualized.
The Constitution is also the only ship in the current U.S. fleet to have sunk an enemy vessel, having defeated and burnt HMS Java in 1813.
Used today primarily for ceremonial and educational purposes, only 10–15 percent of the frigate actually dates to the original construction due to centuries of repairs and restorations.
The USS Theseus?
You're telling me no ship in the current fleet besides that old ship has sunk an enemy vessel?
Ah, I'm mostly joking. Victory is a really cool museum, almost as cool as the wreck of the Mary Rose that's displayed in a building next to her.
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There's also a statue of George Washington in England. Except the US shipped a bunch of dirt all the way across the Atlantic from Virginia so he would technically not be standing on British soil.
Humans do weird shit just to make a statement.
Dracula did the same when he moved to England
But is Dracula twelve stories high and made of radiation?
I heard... that... motherfucker had, like... thirty goddamn dicks.
Is George Washington!?😨
I heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn dicks
He was a gundam.
"What do we do with all this rubble and old dirt?"
"Ship it to the UK and call it patriotism"
Militaries see a lot of value in convincing their members that they'll be remembered after dying.
Some good things have happened because people sacrificed themselves for the greater good.
Do I wish this wasn't necessary? Fucking of course.
But history doesn't repeat itself so much as humans just don't change.
Some good things have happened because people sacrificed themselves for the greater good.
We're talking about the US here. It's mostly about the greed, slavery, oil or invading farmers.
Small correction: The HMS Victory is the flagship of the First Sea Lord. The current Royal Navy Fleet Flagship is the aircraft carrier HMS Prince of Wales.
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It’s the year 30,000. God-Emperor George Washington moans to life and leads Earth to war against the rest of the universe.
A man reads the news of this break on his shigawire paper. "Huh that sucks," he says, desensitized. "Still not the worst thing to happen this year" he muses to himself. He turns to get back into the food line, the zombie apocalypse on distant Terra already forgotten.
Oh, look. Sandy's being charming instead of the hateful bile-spewing walrus he usually is.
A reanimated body couldn't be worse at governing than our current administration.
Zombie Washington probably wouldn't/ couldn't rape children, so yes. I'll give it to you.
Calling it now, once Trump finds out this exists, he’ll do something to try and supersede that to put him at the top.
Maybe a 6 star general with the pips arranged like a Star of David.
US Presidents are literally thenCommander in Chief (the highest ranking military position).
The beautiful thing is: Washington was literally the 1st President, so nothing Trump does or says can change that.
~Albeit, I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried. #gulfofmexico4ever~
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North Korea does something similar. America needs to get over the founding fathers and progress as a country.
They actually ignore history and background behind the founding of their country and how it isn't so grandiose.
But, the propaganda is so ingrained, it's literally tied to their personalities. And then they force it on every social platforms (because they own major platforms) and pretend their patriotism is different from the ones in North Korea and China.
It's SAD
"Dearest Zombie Martha: Winter at Valley Forge is exceedingly desperate. The harsh wind whistles through the men's exposed rib cages, and our supply of brains is running low."
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