this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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"Dearest Zombie Martha: Winter at Valley Forge is exceedingly desperate. The harsh wind whistles through the men's exposed rib cages, and our supply of brains is running low."
That's probably America's greatest defence against zombies. Any outbreak will starve to death in short order.
Well, that and any zombie who eats one of us will likely get taken down by a combination of measles, mumps, chicken pox, COVID, and high cholesterol as well.