Chat, is this real?
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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this tradition stems for Washington holding a general rank in the British military before rebellion, and the US traditionally never having a rank higher than the one he held in the British military, so when we actually did need those ranks because practicality, they just bumped him up.
Oh, look. Sandy's being charming instead of the hateful bile-spewing walrus he usually is.
Holy shit George Washington would hate this policy. He was done being commander in chief! That's why he stepped down after 2 terms! I get it's symbolic, but his whole thing regarding the office was "don't deify me."
Which makes The Apotheosis of Washington pretty ironic. Beautiful, though.
Which would really explain why he might come back as a zombie. The rage just builds until he pops up out of his grave and shouts, "DID I STUTTER?"
Bew Pest.
A reanimated body couldn't be worse at governing than our current administration.
Zombie Washington probably wouldn't/ couldn't rape children, so yes. I'll give it to you.
I would say that the US is a very weird place, but then I remembered that this
is the flagship of the British Navy. She hasn't floated for literally 100 years.
So mostly I guess it's just that militaries are weird.
but what about ceremonial anime swords in the US military?
I'd like to know more
The USS Constitution is still fully crewed, floats, and occasionally fires a few cannon shots.
Keeping history around isn't weird. Though I do think it should be contextualized.
Ah, I'm mostly joking. Victory is a really cool museum, almost as cool as the wreck of the Mary Rose that's in displayed in a building next to her.
The Constitution is also the only ship in the current U.S. fleet to have sunk an enemy vessel, having defeated and burnt HMS Java in 1813.
You're telling me no ship in the current fleet besides that old ship has sunk an enemy vessel?
Used today primarily for ceremonial and educational purposes, only 10–15 percent of the frigate actually dates to the original construction due to centuries of repairs and restorations.
The USS Theseus?
Seeing her out of her slip is kind of weird. She was accompanied on either side by tug boats, like an elderly person escorted by nurses or family members fearful they may fall over.
US Navy sails the Constitution up to a Russian submarine.
Fires full broadside.
Refuses to elaborate.
Leaves.
There's also a statue of George Washington in England. Except the US shipped a bunch of dirt all the way across the Atlantic from Virginia so he would technically not be standing on British soil.
Humans do weird shit just to make a statement.
Dracula did the same when he moved to England
But is Dracula twelve stories high and made of radiation?
Is George Washington!?😨
He was a gundam.
"What do we do with all this rubble and old dirt?"
"Ship it to the UK and call it patriotism"
Militaries see a lot of value in convincing their members that they'll be remembered after dying.
Some good things have happened because people sacrificed themselves for the greater good.
Do I wish this wasn't necessary? Fucking of course.
But history doesn't repeat itself so much as humans just don't change.
Small correction: The HMS Victory is the flagship of the First Sea Lord. The current Royal Navy Fleet Flagship is the aircraft carrier HMS Prince of Wales.
Is she not beautiful? Do her curves offend your insecure masculine sensibilities?
She's too beautiful. So beautiful in fact, that I am now banned from Portsmouth Historic Dockyard.
For shame, for she has many suitors but not nearly enough who will polish her portholes
It’s the year 30,000. God-Emperor George Washington moans to life and leads Earth to war against the rest of the universe.
A man reads the news of this break on his shigawire paper. "Huh that sucks," he says, desensitized. "Still not the worst thing to happen this year" he muses to himself. He turns to get back into the food line, the zombie apocalypse on distant Terra already forgotten.
North Korea does something similar. America needs to get over the founding fathers and progress as a country.
Calling it now, once Trump finds out this exists, he’ll do something to try and supersede that to put him at the top.
Maybe a 6 star general with the pips arranged like a Star of David.
US Presidents are literally thenCommander in Chief (the highest ranking military position).
The beautiful thing is: Washington was literally the 1st President, so nothing Trump does or says can change that.
~Albeit, I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried. #gulfofmexico4ever~
Well, he does want to be first king
if anything would bring the OG GW back, it would be that.
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"Dearest Zombie Martha: Winter at Valley Forge is exceedingly desperate. The harsh wind whistles through the men's exposed rib cages, and our supply of brains is running low."
That's probably America's greatest defence against zombies. Any outbreak will starve to death in short order.
Well, that and any zombie who eats one of us will likely get taken down by a combination of measles, mumps, chicken pox, COVID, and high cholesterol as well.
He missed the opportunity to leave a standing order to kill any president that ordered illegal orders.
Definitely no cult of personality there™
Americans obsessing over founding fathers? Get out of here
Cripes. Wait until the demented rapist hears that. New EO incoming.
It must be nice to have zombie Washington on your side.
Oh God, we put the enemy in charge of our own military, our brains are doomed
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