this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Okay, I am an ally and all. But when you are endangered ya just got to take one for the team

[–] [email protected] 6 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Meh... As someone with no interest in having children and could not care less about what that might mean for my "bloodline," I get it lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

You're bloodline doesn't matter if you aren't an endangered species. Lmao

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

Close your eyes and think of the species

[–] [email protected] 181 points 1 day ago (3 children)

To save everyone some time

His age is estimated to be 192 as of 2025

[–] [email protected] 102 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And "The first known public appearance of the term homosexual in print is found in an 1869 German pamphlet."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminology_of_homosexuality

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Which is 36 years after this guy hatched

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Can we all agree to use "Sashayed in" rather than "hatched"?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He's still more tortoise than he is gay.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

That's probably true. But like, by weight? Surface area? Gay actions per hour vs tortoise actions per hour?

Hard to nail down.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don't nail tortoises down. They reeeeally hate that.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Perhaps he only ambled in.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Jonathan: "That dick better be hard and ready when I get there"

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

Here he is (on the left) ca. 1886 at around 50 years old:

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do you have a source for that date? Those cars in the background don't look like anything that would've existed in 1886. In fact the first car put into production was patented in 1886 and it looked like this:

Black and white image of the Benz Patent-Motorwagen, an early three-wheeled automobile

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Oops, you're absolutely right, I grabbed the wrong photo. Fixed. Pretty funny that that you can have a photo decades later than you thought and you can't tell by the animal in it, but by the technology in the background!

[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Heh. I just spent half a minute squinting the dark trees in the background, looking for the outline of a car. I didn't realise the picture was swapped.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

me too. I thought i was more blind than the tortoise in question lol.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 21 hours ago

Yeah, same lol

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That is definitely funny. I was just thinking, “How many fads and fashions has this one tortoise seen in his life?”

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

He's been around humans long enough to see to see, what, 6 or 7 generations?

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 day ago (4 children)

He must've copied it from gay tourists who did it in front of him! Surely it's just a show of completely non-sexual dominance. They're just really good friends. /s

[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

And then when they've got nothing left, they ult:

Well, God made us in his image and that's what separates us from the animals. So it doesn't matter if gay tortoises exist

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Paul Goldstein, the photographer who captured the images in Kenya's Maasai Mara reserve in August, said many other species are known to engage in such behavior and that, for example, he had seen giraffes doing it.

"It was just a dramatic thing to see," Goldstein said of the male lions. He was astonished by Mutua's remarks, declaring it "not normal" and attributing the behavior to demonic possession, or copying what he clearly believes is amoral human behavior.

"These animals need counselling, because probably they have been influenced by gays who have gone to the national parks and behaved badly," said Mutua. "I don't know, they must have copied it somewhere or it is demonic. Because these animals do not watch movies."

"The demonic spirits inflicting in humans seems to have now caught up with the animals," the film classification board director said. "That is why I will say isolate the crazy gay animals."

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What an idiot.

Animals in the wild obviously watch movies.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Exactly, how else are they going to learn "work the shaft while gently cupping the balls", from a demon?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago

film classification board director

Oh well then say no more. That’s certainly a higher scientific certification than anyone else who could have anything to say on the matter

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

They're enclosure-mates!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

He's blind so he recognized gay sex just from hearing it and decided to try it out.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Great now Jonathan will be on the deportation list.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

He’s already on an island in the middle of the ocean that’s so remote it wasn’t even occupied when the Europeans took it. St. Helena is where they sent Napoleon to try to keep him away.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

they are just roommates

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