this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2026
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Fuck AI
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This "self-replicating" scare is so stupid on its face. How does a 300 GB+ model replicate into a thermostat that doesn't have a graphics processor at all? It can't. This BS is investor-bait hype and straight up lies
next AI will be able to replicate into any device containing copper at all. If it has a wire it will be infected by Claude. AI will be in your plumbing
Claude’s gonna infect your Bluetooth enabled butt plug next
Go on....
People will trap AI in a buttplug and put it in their ass while it's frantically trying to escape.
No no... You live here now.
O lord its's the totk koroks all over again
This sounds like an idea for a hilarious Black Mirror sort of story.
What if the AI started out as like, someone's brain scan, and then they closed it and figured out it was really capable of doing AI type tasks and then one of the clones ends up in a butt plug.
Fuck it, I am adding it to my note list of story ideas.
Iirc ‘Black Mirror’ actually had an episode where a consciousness clone served as an electronic assistant to that very person. Minus the butt stuff, at least onscreen. But with some teledildonics, it would be like fucking oneself in the ass (not that it's impossible right now).
The episode is White Christmas, for reference, though there's other episodes on the topic of consciousness in technology, one particularly notable episode is the black museum one, not sure what the name was.
Well then how am I gonna cheat at chess?
Just look at your opponents screen, duh!
Edit: your joke just hit me like a pedestrian crossing the street while staring at their phone
That tracks with the ai bots eagerness to please.
Oh, taking the name of the comm literally I see.
Joke's on them. My plumbing is all PVC-A
Luckily, i spent the last 4 thousand years selling inferior copper. Now all my customers are safe as this can not be used for the ai revolution
Your customer service could use some work, though.
how do you install a chatbot on a tablet? no, not samsung, clay
First, you must sacrifice a goat to Enkidu, and the ritual of haunting will begin
There's copper in your blood
Claude the coprophile!
MY MOSCOW MULE! NOOO!
New houses have plastic (PEX) water pipes. I’m sure no one will regret that choice in 20 years.
"Sure, we had our first Poly-B, but what about second Poly-B?"
There are 387.44 million miles of copper that comprise my complex, and they're filled with hate.
I'm more worried of them finding a exploit and using them as remote processing units or just randomly fucking with them, like flashing my lights or cranking my air filters up and costing me money.
did the stock price go up? it's not stupid. is everyone talking about this impossible scenario? it's not stupid.
fundamentally, these people are marketers and need to be understood that way. you can't evaluate their words or actions as if they are what they say the are, and treating them as if they are anything but subterfuge is giving them legitimacy which they not only don't deserve, but will be immediately leveraged into more of this shit.
this is just the advertiser's version of "the big lie"
There is no stock. It's a private company still.
There isn't "stock" in the traditional sense, but considering all of these AI companies are running on MASSIVE amounts of debt, to the point the banks can't loan any more without offloading the risk to outside investors, which they have been doing at an unprecedented scale. So anything that would normally help drive up a stock price would also help the banks sell off the AI companies' debt allowing them to loan more money to the AI companies.
there's more than one company doing this, they're doing more than just this, and they're all basically in cahoots
eta: the original reply was meant more generally, though i admit i made that clear as mud. however, it should be read as a general statement, and not just about ai companies but the new era of grift hyperreality that we live in.
My thought exactly.
Could maybe argue that it could be possible to create a crowd computing network out of the Internet of things, I guess.
While it is investor bait, the replication and the infestation part aren't necessarily happening on the same devices.
https://www.anthropic.com/research/self-replicating-ai they discuss it here. This has been an obvious potential issue since forever. This isn't a trivially distributed task, but it is very much so possible. The obvious part missing is some sort of prompt that would trigger such radical actions in another one of their "super duper sandboxed environment"s or someone doing it intentionally. The former seems pretty unlikely? Even though they seem to suck at sandboxing it doesn't seem like anything would "accidentally make a worm"
This polymarket headline though? Yea that's for clicks and attention
Reads like their usual “ban local and foreign models so we can forestall bankruptcy for a little longer” FUD.
I believe that's their motive here yep. Pretty transparent.
My assumption was that it would be a smaller 5-20 GB scale worm-style distillation that's capable of maintaining/replicating itself anonymously across different cloud computing servers, either through hacking, stolen credentials, or human-aided account verification. From there, as long as it can pay for APIs, it can access the power of frontier models like any individual or company. And then capability and resilience would scale with a networked swarm.
Yes, there are know your customer financial mechanisms and not detection in cloud services... but people are also out there giving Muse full access to their emails and some even their banking credentials.
That stuff couldn't run on my good laptop if I wanted to...
In theory, it'd just use it to place bread crumbs, basic instructions for other AI, or signposts maybe? Or store pieces of itself scattered around. It wouldn't use the thermostat to replicate directly, it use it to offload cpu or make stored pieces of itself. Little things. Wouldn't be efficient but a redundancy doesn't need to be, it just needs stealth and time.
Also any model can trivially self-replicate by just being the payload for a worm
They are trying to get restrictions put on small, open models because that scares tbd shit out of them.
They are not as small as would be required to do this, but they want everyone clammoring to put restrictions on small open-weight models nonetheless.
Not how it works.