this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] tigermountain@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Didn't Van Halen write a song about this?

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 164 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

just fuckin pay teachers more its not hard

[–] baronvonj@piefed.social 90 points 3 days ago (1 children)

its not hard

But with our new AI instructress sexbot, it will be!

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 3 days ago

Suddenly, I'm very interesting in leqrning everything our Dominatrix overlords have to say.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 3 days ago

No but actually it is. Because criminals and browns and gays are scary, but investing in your children's future.... No no no, can't have that, that's too expensive. Where will the money come from? Everybody will lose their jobs if we upset the masters! We must protect the status quo at all costs!

[–] RmDebArc_5@feddit.org 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

just fuck[...] teachers [...] hard

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

You son of a bitch, I'm in!

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago

But that won't enrich my friend's tech startup.

[–] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 2 days ago

I mean, teaching is probably the least well fit a task could be for an AI robot, but I'm honestly not surprised at all at a sex doll company working on a project for building AI powered robots for use cases where human-like interaction is important. It's going to fail for teaching applications, but for say customer service or retail...

Sex doll companies are far more experienced at wrapping a decently realistic looking human form around some mechanisms than the sort of people who normally build bipedal robots. Building "skins" to wrap around bipedal robot frames to make them easier to anthropomorphize for customer facing jobs seems like a logical direction to expand into for a sex doll company looking to diversify. Teaching is just...very the wrong application of this.

[–] Steve@communick.news 86 points 3 days ago (8 children)

It doesn't really matter what other products the company makes.
But a teacher is one if the least AI-able jobs I think. There's no way this will work.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Good thing children follow directions and are so bad with technology. This plan is foolproof!

Please open your books to page 34/s

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago

But a teacher is one if the least AI-able jobs I think. There’s no way this will work.

There's no way it will give kids an adequate education...

But that's not exactly been the goal of the American public school system since No Child Left behind almost 30 years ago.

Our public education system has been under attack for generations while the wealthy go to private schools and ivy leagues.

And people act surprised when 18 year olds voted trump.

Kids don't magically become functional adults because of what a calendar says, someone needs to teach them to act right.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Definetely worst.

It will specifically talk in a context where the human cannot tell if it's hallucinating or not.

Also it will be used by thousands of people consequently for 8 hours straight so we can speedrun climate change I guess.

[–] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 days ago

Also it will be used by thousands of people consequently for 8 hours straight so we can speedrun climate change I guess.

I'm going to assume this thing would run a model locally because the alternative would be insane, especially if you're doing it to reduce the costs relative to hiring a teacher. And if it's running a local model, then it's at worst speed running climate change as much as a similarly-long gaming session.

Which is probably the future of embodied AI in practical situations - running a local model in an appropriately designed robot body to the task domain at hand. If for no other reason than because in real applications you're not going to want response time relying on network turnaround for any important task, or most tasks that involve interacting with the physical world in general.

[–] ech@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 days ago

It will specifically talk in a context where the human cannot tell if it’s hallucinating or not.

LLMs are always hallucinating. That's how they function. It pulls something that's probably coherent from literal random noise and techbros pretend it was "thinking", then when the result is something undesirable, they act like it made a "mistake". Don't buy into their bullshit.

[–] Mirshe@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

least AI-able jobs

It looks like it to the parents and the board, which is all that matters. Most of them don't ever see the hours of putting together a curriculum, or answering questions, or grading essays and putting homework together and trying to keep kids interested. They just remember (wrongly) "well you get up and talk about stuff from a book, what if we fed that book to a machine and it said that stuff instead for the price of your salary, once."

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[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 28 points 3 days ago

This reminds me!

My job, whose entire goal was to sell marketing services using text messages, decided one day to pivot towards dating! Half the company's job was to make it work!

Imagine all those spammy

"Want cheaper meds? Reply Y. Unsubscribe with 'CANCEL'"

but with

"Hi I'm Tiffany I'm single. You interested? Reply Y. Unsubscribe with 'CANCEL'".

Anyways I didn't bail in time and then had to fight my ass off to get my last paycheck when they declared bankruptcy.

[–] FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I hope they work better for school than for board games...

https://youtu.be/Rn_78yt5nRo?is=crIpvZt_m9GuHqEy

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago

To great boars game videos?

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago

Also a hood way To introduce to a YouTube channel!

He made a second one :D

[–] schwim@piefed.zip 39 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Class is going to get really dope when the AI gets the two roles mixed up.

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago

You’re absolutely right, an A+ does merit a happy ending.

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 9 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Gentlemen Gentlemen let's asks the important questions here. What subject are they teaching?

[–] TraipsersWill@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

What subject doesn't matter as much as making sure they don't let the programming of the different 'bots overlap...
Math: "1 plus 1 equals...fun!
Social Studies: "Hello, sailor."
Geography: "today, we're going to find The Clitoris."

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Obviously, it's English Lit, because you'd only get one for the articles

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago
[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 32 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I love absurd news articles where the journalist feels the need to proclaim “I am not making any of this up.”

[–] mrunicornman@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

The last line has incredible word play that I missed on my first go.

[–] Rat_in_a_hat@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago

The writing style really spoke to me. I felt as frustrated as the writer.

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[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 21 points 3 days ago

Finally, it's not illegal for her to fuck her students

[–] tal@lemmy.today 17 points 3 days ago

Smartphone apps were competing with teachers for student attention. It was time to stop playing defense and go on the offense.

Right. This will surely solve the education crisis.

[–] stretch2m@infosec.pub 12 points 3 days ago

These two households, both alike in dignity, met in 2024, and from forth the fatal loins of their union came Realbotix.

So great.

[–] ElJefe@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 days ago

Yes, this is great! Because, what could go wrong

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Hot for teacher. We've reached new levels of dumb, I previously thought unachievable.

[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 14 points 3 days ago

i mean, there is a TON of money in this field. No, not teaching, not that one. But the aspect of indoctrinating the youth so they dont grow up all democratic.

[–] GhostFace@lemmy.today 3 points 2 days ago

We're doomed. Very doomed.

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