this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
313 points (99.1% liked)

Not The Onion

22039 readers
326 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 166 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

just fuckin pay teachers more its not hard

[–] baronvonj@piefed.social 90 points 1 week ago (1 children)

its not hard

But with our new AI instructress sexbot, it will be!

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago

Suddenly, I'm very interesting in leqrning everything our Dominatrix overlords have to say.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago

But that won't enrich my friend's tech startup.

[–] RmDebArc_5@feddit.org 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

just fuck[...] teachers [...] hard

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

You son of a bitch, I'm in!

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 week ago

No but actually it is. Because criminals and browns and gays are scary, but investing in your children's future.... No no no, can't have that, that's too expensive. Where will the money come from? Everybody will lose their jobs if we upset the masters! We must protect the status quo at all costs!