this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2026
613 points (98.7% liked)

Not The Onion

21369 readers
748 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 192 points 4 weeks ago (10 children)

Why in the everliving fuck would NASA put ANYTHING Microsoft into a spacecraft?

[–] Akh@lemmy.world 110 points 4 weeks ago

Because Gates fucked Children with the President on Epstein’s Island…

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 23 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It's almost as if this bullshit project was just pork barrelling for overpriced contracts.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 weeks ago (6 children)

The entire craft is built by giant US legacy corporations. Boeing, Lockheed, Northrop, etc. Microsoft is just one more in the pile.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 4 weeks ago

They are going to space to seed the cloud

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 weeks ago

Personal devices running Outlook should be rapidly deorbited

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago

You would think that Microsoft would be like this is going to space. Let's pull out all the stops. But no, it's the same corporate crap!

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

And of all things, an email client?? What the fuck are they doing?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 143 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Space Force TV show continues to fulfill the prophecy.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 109 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

"NASA says they'll remotely connect to the computer to see what the problem is."

'Hello, this is your NASA certified Microsoft certied tech support, you need to send us gift cards to unblock your computer"

[–] Burghler@sh.itjust.works 58 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 32 points 4 weeks ago

DOOOOO NOOOT REDEEEM!

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 12 points 4 weeks ago

Kitboga is the best

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 107 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

If only there were low-bandwidth, straight-forward, well tested email clients.....

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 15 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

low-bandwidth,

They're on a 600Mbps connection, bandwidth isn't the problem.

[–] Darohan@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Bro what do you mean the moon mission has faster internet than me? 😭

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 69 points 4 weeks ago

Also known as "nominal outlook performance"

[–] dizzle18@lemmy.zip 59 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Imagine being literally off the planet and still be expected to check your work email.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 18 points 4 weeks ago

I mean if you are on a work trip it is pretty standard

[–] sugarfoot00@lemmy.ca 12 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Gotta submit their timesheets.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 59 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It seems you have problems with running your multi billion dollar rocket. Would you like me to help you with that?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 52 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

You would think that the absolute basic, minimum requirement for taking something on a space mission is that it complies with open standards.

If you have standards compliant programs, it's easy to set up a back-up client in case the primary doesn't work. If your email is "Outlook" and you are tied to the outlook server and something breaks, there's your single point of failure. Sucks to be you.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

What if the problem is server side

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 14 points 4 weeks ago (7 children)

What if the problem is DNS

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 49 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

The rare occasion when "It's not rocket science!" means it's harder.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 35 points 4 weeks ago
[–] silver@das-eck.haus 27 points 4 weeks ago

Wtf do they need email for in space

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 21 points 4 weeks ago

Who the f permits taking unverified software on a space trip?

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 20 points 4 weeks ago

In space, no one can hear you call tech support.

This is just… so perfectly emblematic of where we are as a society.

[–] middlemanSI@lemmy.world 18 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

They say Microslop CoPilot is already on the case.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 17 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Why would you not use internal NASA programmed software? Oh wait, we're beyond that now, we just ask Claude to vomit up a mess from its exabytes of source code and vibe our way to the Moon!!!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Boppel@feddit.org 16 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

they rely on microsoft?!?

holy shit, and here i thought the job is dangerous as is.

[–] inari@piefed.zip 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Can you imagine if Copilot fucks up the mission

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 10 points 4 weeks ago

See? They're just like us!

[–] nuko147@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

Microsoft, because sucking only on one planet isn't enough..

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Let this be a lesson about putting windows OS on space equipment.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] devolution@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

Microsoft has always been questionable at best but ever since Steve Ballmer left, is been incredibly shit.

[–] Airfried@piefed.social 8 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

The Apollo 13 movie sequel will be wild...

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Trying to imagine Jim Lovell's reaction when Apollo 13 blue-screens and has to reboot. What an amateurish shitshow NASA has become.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] phoenixarise@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago

What a surprise. Microslop

[–] DupaCycki@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago

So they're not only using Microslop in offices, but also on space missions...? Gee, I wonder why they've been failing to return to the Moon for 50 years...

[–] Eryn6844@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

screw outlook? WTF where is thunderbird when you need it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

embarrassing.

[–] DioramaOfShit@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Have they tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?

[–] 0oWow@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Don't worry, the Microsoft ~~spyware~~ telemetry will tell them what went wrong.

[–] Blaster_M@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Shoulda installed Thunderbird

load more comments
view more: next ›