this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 60 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] M137@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Icing? That'd be filling.

[–] j4yc33@piefed.social 48 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Literal shitpost will occur if you eat this grease.

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Id prefer a shit-stream of them screaming as they empty their bowels on a twitch stream.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 47 points 7 months ago

Delicious strawberry flavored axle grease...

[–] poweruser@lemmy.sdf.org 29 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Suuuuper don't eat that. Heavy weight gear oil is the worst thing I've ever tasted and I had only a tiny amount of it

Maybe actual excrement tastes worse, but I wasn't curious enough to try tasting that

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[–] pirc_lover@feddit.uk 29 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Hupf@feddit.org 31 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The cylinder must not be damaged in any way.

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Oh don’t worry… I’ll be gentle.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 5 points 7 months ago

I… need an adult?

[–] mech@feddit.org 27 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Isn't this just a Farmer's Fleshlight?

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 23 points 7 months ago

No, cows are furrier and brown.

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 27 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Only in America does this look edible.

[–] PoopDeckInspector@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 7 months ago

Have you never made a cherry or cranberry jam/syrup. That's exactly what it looks like when you boil red fruit and sugar together

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I literally was going to say that exact thing. It's why they had to ban kinder eggs. Everything from heavy grease to tide pods and small plastic toys looks edible to Americans.

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'm European, this looks delicious:

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[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 26 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

We feed our cat a little petroleum jelly to get his insides lubricated. This was prescribed by a vet after he was very constipated. That was an expensive vet visit

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 28 points 7 months ago (2 children)

feed your cat lithium grease and watch them become a 9 volt battery.

1000002845

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Does that work with humans this is not a medical question this is a personal experience question

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

To be clear this is not just straight petroleum jelly it's formulated for cats, but the tube says 98% petroleum jelly with maple flavor

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago

Like fuck I'll eat anything that's 2% maple am I a cat

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 8 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Interesting they went with a sweet flavour; I always figured since cats are obligate carnivores that sweet things wouldn't be very attractive to them.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

My cats will drink flat soda or energy drinks if you leave them out. My dog hunts down chocolate knowing it will make her puke. Animals are weird.

Also deer are known to eat mice and birds and eggs and even dead rabbits.

I once had a friend in school who had a rabbit. He took the vegetables off his burger and threw it in the cage with a couple strips of bacon. The rabbit sat on the tomato, devoured the bacon and then nibbled the lettuce a little bit. I still wonder to this day how a rabbit even digests bacon, let alone gets an appetite for it.

[–] FeatherConstrictor@sh.itjust.works 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

That rabbit was very lucky to have had such a strong stomach, rabbits in general are unable to digest foods high in protein and gastric upset in rabbits can be fatal. Its one of the scariest things as a rabbit owner.

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[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Well, the inventor of Vaseline thought so

Chesebrough lived to be 96 years old and was such a believer in Vaseline that he claimed to have eaten a spoonful of it every day

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[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemmy.zip 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Petroleum jelly would work, but it's not intended for consumption. If you do want petroleum products intended for consumption that will do exactly the same thing, get some mineral oil

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[–] tomiant@piefed.social 13 points 7 months ago

The inventor of vaseline ate a spoonful every day. He promoted it as wonder goo, fit for everything and anything. NGL it is pretty great, on the outside. Well, and a fistful of inches deep as well but no farther.

[–] SupraMario@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago (18 children)

Has no one ever smelled bearing grease? Even fresh it smells terrible.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I dunno if it's some kind of additive, but AFAIK it universally smells like stinky bugs, just weaker.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I got a syringe of same looking red grease for installing a bicycle bottom bracket, (might have been for a fancy front fork?)
and it smelled vaguely sweet... like almost fructosey enough to make you imagine it was raspberry flavored.

[–] SupraMario@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Might have been some other compound, cause straight bearing grease for cars/trucks/heavy equipment/etc doesn't smell pleasant at all.

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[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I miss forbidden snacks in the first few months... Before people flooded it with pictures of buildings and scenery. God do I not miss reddit near the end...

[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I had to do the axles on my trailer this year and honestly this is one of my first thoughts when I opened up the can of Grease as well. It kind of did look tasty.

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Canned humans are very not vegan 💢

[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 9 points 7 months ago

Good thing I'm not vegan.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago

we might need an active, possibly non-ml version of !forbiddensnacks@lemmy.ml

[–] JuliaSuraez@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

It’s funny how our brains react to colors and textures, even when we know it’s not food. Visual perception is wild.

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago

They shouldn't have made edible things look like grease

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Guaranteed to cure your constipation

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 7 months ago

Are you kidding me? These look like strawberry cum!

[–] Killer57@lemmy.ca 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This is like saying that antifreeze shouldn't taste/smell sweet.

[–] siha@feddit.uk 8 points 7 months ago

Are you saying we shouldn't put cotton candy inside our walls either?!

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Mine is turqouise, I wonder what flavor is that.

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[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Emmm... red dye 40

[–] coherent_domain@infosec.pub 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Okay maybe human shouldn't make candys look like grease.

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