Berengaria_of_Navarre

So the outfits are not as flamboyant, but i think about half the town showed up to show support.

https://www.arcticpride.no/

My partner is concerned that I'm going to suddenly start being attracted to men once I start on the trans-mission fluid. Apparently she keeps reading Reddit posts about people who's sexual orientation changes after they start hormones. How common is this? I can't personally think of a word in which I would be attracted to men. Honestly it kinda crosses me out. I did go through a period where I decided to see if I was bisexual and slept with a couple of dudes, but I found the experience really off-putting. Have any of you ladies experienced a switch in sexual orientation? If so, from what to what?

Singing is one of the few things that brings me joy and wanting to sound just like Eivør was one of the things that made me start to question my gender identity. So if anyone is familiar with voice training as it pertains to singing, I'd be eternally grateful for tips.

More links:

Tròdlabùndin

Falling free

Brotin

My partner offered to do my makeup today. I was excited both because she's been iffy on the whole transition thing and because she's very good at doing her own makeup and I was excited to get some instruction.

I've always thought I look young for my age and fairly attractive (if you're into mountain men) so I was cautiously optimistic about the results. But when she was done I looked in the mirror and my first thought was: shit, I hope Napoleon comes through that door and puts me out of my misery. I looked like an old french duke or a sad theatre queen in a Christmas pantomime.

Without the makeup I looked around 5 years younger than my age, but with it I looked easily 25 years older. My eyelids especially looked like poorly tanned leather. I know estrogen is amazing for your skin, but Jesus Christ does it have some heavy fucking lifting to do.

I came out as trans to my partner a short while ago. She's bisexual and I figured she would probably be uncomfortable at first and then come around to the idea once I'd ironed out some of the details of how I planned to transition and gave her some time to acclimatise.

However, it turns out she's bisexual not biromantic and has additionally never found trans women attractive (despite having trans friends and at least two exs that came out as trans after the fact). When i told her what i want from medical transition she said that the thought of me changing anything about my appearance made her really sad and that she didn't think she would be able to find me attractive.

She likes my beard, body hair, voice, and overall shape. Precisely the things that are the biggest source of dysphoria for me. And while I don't have any genital related dysphoria, she's been reading about shrinkage due to estrogen and is 100% not ok with it. I'm not saying she's a size queen, but she wants it fully functional and at full capacity, I'm ok with giving her that if it were possible but it'd be more for her than me.

I know I really want to start hrt ASAP, but at the same time I can't deal with loosing her. We have a family together and she has helped me through some very difficult and dark times in my past. We are living thousands of km from our families and neither of us can afford to raise the kids on our own. I have no friends because of moving around a lot and family obligations. Aside for my love for her, I can't go through transition without an understanding adult in my life (IRL) who I can lean on when things get difficult.

She keeps saying that she wouldn't feel right trying to prevent me from doing it, but the thought of not being with her is crippling.

What do I do?

They've kissed and they're going to live on a farm together with lots of bunnies. (Pitty she's too young to rent a U-Haul). I feel very grateful that I live in a place where she feels comfortable expressing this.

I recently decided to cut my crap and admit that I was trans. Since then I've started on the waiting list for gender counselling for which there is a 3 month wait.

After that I'm supposed to get a referral to a hospital at the other end of the country who have a national monopoly on trans healthcare. They will then (after two to three years of living as an out woman without hormones) will test me for all manner of mental and developmental issues and deny me care if I exhibit any problems with my mental health.

If by some miracle I don't get rejected by them I finally get referred to an endocrinologist who will prescribe a dose of estrogen in patch form low enough to be safe for a hamster to use. (Not to mention that transdermal hormone preparations aren't great in a house with kids).

So my options are private (which I can not afford) or DIY. Socially and financially, DIY is really the only option. Regrettably the nanny state has a problem with ordering unprescribed hormones and confiscates around half of the packages that enter the country. So much so that the people I reached out to don't even post to Norway any more. So my option is basically to get it sent to Sweden or Finland and pick it up at a post office there. BUT MY CAR IS FUCKED AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO FIX IT NOW!

I've possibly got an NB friend who can pick it up from Sweden and send it from within the country, but they aren't the most reliable person in the world and I want my lady juice now god damn it! I'm fed up of sitting here letting testosterone gradually turn me into the horrid lovechild of groundskeeper willy and Shrek. I need to find a reliable way of getting estrogen. It's legitimately the only thing on my mind and it's preventing me from doing anything else. The waiting is driving me insane and I'm a couple of days away from trapping wild animals and eating their raw ovaries.

HELP!

So my feet are what's politely referred to as freakishly large.

Eu 50

Uk 14.5 mens (womens size is not f**king applicable)

Us 16 (same)

I get custom made shoes subsidised because of a collapsed arch, but are there any styles I should consider to hide the enormity of my flippers?

I recently came to the conclusion that I was definitely supposed to be a woman (yay me). But I've spent the first half of my life trying to suppress that thought, that I hadn't put much thought into what I'd like to be called.

I'm trying to find a name which would suit a relatively butch lesbian with a mischievous personality who was born on terf island to boomer parents in the 80s but also works in Scandinavia. My given name has a female version, but it sounds weird for a Britt.

What made you settle on your names?

Edit: thanks for all the replies. I'm going to try out Kara for a while and see how it resonates. Feel free to suggest similar names or potential middle names (which absolutely should not start with k, by the way).

A set of genetically identical ovaries would be awesome.

Sorry for the first link that popped up. Don't know where that came from. Fixed it now

CW: transphobic boomers. This is going to be a rambling mess. Sorry

So I've definitely had some form of gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember. It's usually manifested as relatively mild things like having significantly more female friends than male friends, choosing female video game characters, and liking more traditionally female hobbies like baking fancy cupcakes. But I never really "acted like a girl" or dressed up and have absolutely no interest in makeup or clothing.

I'm also very much into girls so I never really gave gender much thought. That being said I was always very envious of my lesbian friends because I'm of the opinion that there's nothing more beautiful than two women in love. Although I mostly had bi girlfriends so maybe I give off certain signals.

Now when I mentioned choosing female characters, I mean exclusively. The only male character I've chosen was my avatar on stardew valley and then only because my SO wanted to play with me as me. And to be honest I never saw myself as a girl/woman, I just really wanted to be sometimes. I'm given to understand that when most guys look in the mirror they think things like "I'd look better if I got shredded, or grew a beard whereas I was always more of the opinion that big pillowy tits, thick thighs and an ass so big you can see it from the front would definitely be better.

And then there's all the ways testosterone fucks up my life. I'm constantly angry over nothing and it makes me hate myself. As well as feeling like a bono on crack the whole time. I just want to talk to my friends without constantly daydreaming of ploughing them.

So all that has been building for some time but recently I discovered that an acquaintance from highschool had gone through a transition since we lost touch, and she was living her best life in the fullest sense of the term. I found out because my mother had saved a clipping from a newspaper talking about her novel being nominated for a prize. Not because she thought I would want to know that one of my classmates was successful, but because she thought it was hilarious that someone I knew had transitioned (my mother is a toxic woman). These sentiments were echoed by my father (another deeply flawed individual). But in spite of their obvious amusement, I felt nothing but admiration towards her. She had done this big thing and done it in a rural community. I wish I had the ovaries to do that. So I decided I'd buy her book since my parents had advertised it so effectively.

So recently I was sitting at my desk in my shitty office doing my shitty job and I was brought to the verge of tears by the realisation that being a man was something I never wanted and was making me deeply unhappy. I haven't been happy in as long as I remember. I realised that the first half of my life had gone by and I'd not enjoyed it. It was actually reading through the posts on blåhaj that told me why.

The issue is that I have built a life around my male self. And while it's humble, I don't want to loose everything. I'm sure my partner and kids would be fine with it, but I'm also sure that some degree of prejudice would also follow them if I embraced my true identity. I desperately want to do hrt but I'm apprehensive.

Thoughts?