Seems like a trubute to the "morning routine" from american psycho
this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2025
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Vanity is dehumanizing.
Meanwhile:
>wake up
>shoot myself full of estrogen
>tea
>shower
>brush my teeth
>go get pizza (yum)
Simple as
instruction unclear, only got estrogen and coffee. what do?
Instructions unclear, only carried out the first four words
Your pizza is in the mail just wait calmly and purr a little while you're waiting
It'll be such a massive and catastrophic crash when the body can no longer handle the stress.
He's taking selenium!? Is he trying to kill himself?
Selenium toxicity can give symptoms like hair loss and fatigue. But he's taking finasterid and minoxidil, as well as a large dose of caffeine, so the problem is solved!
It's a necessary micronutrient
And his hair is shiny and dandruff free!
I vaguely remember the final 15 minutes that movie, it was about some tentacle anus alien and selenium was its poison, right?
Correct
I've seen worse.
me too
It starts with questionable stuff, and ends on fucking Ketamine. Bravo. Yep, that is a perfectly healthy routine.
Also, pro tip, don't mess with your hormones (like testosterone) just to get more gains. There are many "body-builders" who have fried their hormone system and have to rely on permanent medication to function.
It's a little cliche, but just try loving yourself, you know?
I do that every night.
Your hands don't lie 😏
Dysin? Did he mean Desoxyn (methamphetamine), or is the guy popping vacuum cleaners?
anon ain't doing enough to stand out in the dating market
But like, why?
creatine you only take 4 x 5g when in your loading phase which lasts a week, then it's 3g for maint or just 3g a day for maint which will get you to saturation anyway but takes about 3-4 weeks
https://creatine.wiki/w/Creatine_Usage/Creatine_for_Beginners#content-recommended-dosage
fish oil good for you
the others I'm not gonna touch
Quit using drugs to min/max. Life isn't a video game. Just go to the gym or do stuff outside. The rest is just capitalism doing what it does, trying to sell you shit you don't need.
Quit using drugs to min/max
Why?
trying to sell you shit you don’t need
It's science bro, if it helps improve your life why wouldn't you do it?
It doesn't improve your daily life any more than regular exercise does
i do that too :)
Reminds me of the monster gym bros that Anatoly casually matches. Thought it was fake at first! Nope, he's a legit powerlifter under that janitor's uniform.
Loading phase is also a myth. Just take your recommended dose every day
How about simply waking up and cursing whatever entity or cosmological force made this hell world?
4 eggs!? Fuck that, i can barely handle two in a day without becoming a stinking gas leak.
Reminds me of that greentext of the guy who was eating exclusively egg whites and nothing else
Since when has sleeping counted as fasting?
Why do you think it's called breakfast?
since they decided to call it breakfast, i guess
I mean, those ingredients to that meal he has, that sounds good, maybe once or twice a month, if you throw in some kind of fairly large helping of fibrous greens to go along with it, maybe drop half the eggs...
But yeah the rest of this is insane, dude's gonna end up roiding out within a year or two, balls will shrivel, then onto some kind of harder drugs or serious hallucinogens, which will likely reveal to him that he just is a howling void of insecurity, probably won't end well.
Meanwhile, my Grandma's been smoking cigs for a damn long time, and she's kicking around, around 80 y/o. You don't need to go this hard.
I'd bet smoking is healthier than that pill stack.