its not?
this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
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I mean, I'm not a theologist or anything, but based on other precedents, if someone was dying and wanted to be baptized at the last second, and no source of water could be arranged on time, the Gatorade baptism would probably be accepted by the Catholic church.
Transubstantiation of Gatorade into Holy Water doesn't even sound that outrageous when priests claim to transubstantiate wine to blood on a daily basis.
Bartender: "Sorry, dude, you've had quite a lot, I have to cut you off, just water for you from now on."
Jesus: "Dammit... "
wow they weren't kidding about civ7
I legit thought it was going to say it found some way to molest a kid
That usually results in promotion
Somehow, I imagine it similar to this
Sam and Dean using Holy Church flavoured Gatorade to defeat evil, then drinking the rest to recover their lost electrolytes...
“It’s what plants crave.”
I mean, water has to be blessed by a priest first before it becomes holy. So, what if the only thing available is a bottle of Gatorade but you have a priest? Couldn't he bless the Gatorade so that the person could be baptized?
Semen is like 85% water
Seems your method of baptising children has already been discovered and is in heavy usage amongst all the christian sects.
Yes, but, every sperm is sacred, so God might get irate.
This is an interesting question. You can use saliva to baptize in the event of an emergency (lick your thumb and make the sign of the cross on the forehead, in the name of Father, Son, Holy Spirit—but that would likely need a secondary “proper” baptism if the emergency passes, this one counting as “conditional”). Which I guess would supersede ever needing Gatorade since you always have saliva.
If you mix holy water with Gatorade powder does it become holy Gatorade?
As an actual, honest-to-God (Episcopal) priest myself, the idea of an “AI priest” is very troubling.
The church will make an AI priest before making a woman a "priest"
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Drink of the Riptide Rush, and be healed!
That image makes me think he's going to get mad at me for pursuing a culture victory.
I'm getting molesty vibes. I guarantee this will be the first AI who commits statutory rape
"Is this about that little spying incident?"
More consequences than if it had raped some kids.
To be fair if you make an AI and ask it to be an authentic catholic priest you'd essentially have to reward it for such actions because it understood the assignment. Now why you'd make such an abomination in the first place that I don't know. The ways of the lord and all that...
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I have been in IT for 20 years, have both a BS and MS in Information Technology, and I will never understand why EVERYONE has such a hard-on for AI; especially given its track record of “hallucinations”.
Maybe AI will dominate us simply because we are dumb enough to give it all the tasks..
Aren't a lot of religions based on hallucinations that specific people have had?
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You have been in IT for 20 years and don’t understand this? Has your career not made it abundantly clear that the average person is completely computer illiterate and has no idea what AI even is? How many people have you had to assist in 20 years who insist that they have tried every possible solution, only to find out that something isn’t even plugged in or turned on?
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Better move him to a new Parish before they figure what type of AI pornography he's into.
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Well obviously that's wrong, everyone who took catholic theology studies in college knows it should either be monster or white claw /j
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It has what heathens crave.
For those who don't know, "AI-powered priest" in this case means a 3d model run by AI, not even a real person. The pronoun here is "it" not "he".
I think Father Justin can decide his pronouns on his own, don't you?
Strictly speaking no LOL - AI doesn't "decide" anything.
I mean, it's not like trans people choose to be trans.
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It's got what babies crave.
Randal: Hockey's hockey. At least we got to play. Dante: Twelve minutes is hardly a game. Jesus, it's hardly even a warm-up. Randal: Bitch, bitch, bitch. You want something to drink? Dante: Yeah. Gatorade. Randal: Hey, what happened to all the Gatorade? Dante: Exactly! They drank it all!
That's how crocodile hunters are baptized.
In US, brawndo is used instead of gatorade. That is the reason for math prowesness.
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