this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I mean, I'm not a theologist or anything, but based on other precedents, if someone was dying and wanted to be baptized at the last second, and no source of water could be arranged on time, the Gatorade baptism would probably be accepted by the Catholic church.

Transubstantiation of Gatorade into Holy Water doesn't even sound that outrageous when priests claim to transubstantiate wine to blood on a daily basis.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (3 children)

This seems to mean that priests can theoretically make any liquid holy, thereby making holy Gatorade.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

Uh, skeet skeet "enjoy salvation"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 16 hours ago

They've got holy water and holy wine. Why not holy beer.

"This is my piss, drink of it and be holy"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I just checked and it seems that unfortunately not. At least catholic Priests are only allowed to bless "true water", which is usually understood to mean that nothing was purposely added to it (with the exception of certain salts for rituals like exorcism).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So is tap water okay, or only where it isn't fluoridated? What about sea water ? Heavy water ? Rain water ?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago

It needs to be demineralized and deionized to be able to accept god and become holy. God is quite picky

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Bartender: "Sorry, dude, you've had quite a few drinks, I have to cut you off, only water for you from now on."

Jesus: "Dammit... "