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Jesus fuck. This cunt just cut NIH’s indirect cost payout to 15%, but at least we have plastic straws. This is going to cripple hospitals, universities, and all biomedical research in the USA.
Newsflash: his mission is to destroy the United States.
Yup. I imagine this is exactly what Putin, China, and the rich bilionaires want. I think they're playing at something the the fall of the USSR but with more of a 'controlled demolition' vibe. Oh, we'll all still get fucked while they power grab.
And this helps me pay for groceries, how?
Maybe you're one of those families that buys mostly straws. The ones you see with little children huddled and sobbing around their parent who is desperately trying to hold back tears while explaining, "we can only afford 13 bags of straws this week instead of 36 because woke took away our plastic straws. And while duck calls will work just fine with biodegradable straws, they don't have the same mouth-feel as the ones that choke sea turtles."
When a turtle chokes on a plastic straw, it will float to the surface, beach itself, and you can strap it to the roof of your car and drive it to your cottage where your family can feast on it for days.
And with the planet warming, the beach will come right to you!
that's the neat part
Paying for groceries is woke.
The. Dumbest. Timeline.
So this is what will make eggs cheaper?
Yes. As soon as he figures out how to turn all those paper straws people can't use anymore into eggs. He has top people working on it. Top people.
The hero we need! Finally someone to stand up for little oil against big our children’s future!!!!!1
I'm half expecting his next executive order to be that all ocean cleanup efforts must immediately cease and that in fact dumping in the ocean is now mandatory and anyone caught trying to dispose of trash sustainably will be jailed.
Seriously, it's gone long past the point where anyone has the slightest excuse of supporting this orange painted clown in his blonde wig and comically oversized tie without just looking like evil pieces of shit.
It's like he's actively making his way through a list of anything actually good that society has managed to achieve in the last few decades and dismantling it. I mean, we all hate cardboard straws but this clearly isn't about straws.
The guy seems to literally want to see smog fill the air and plastic fill the oceans. While simultaneously making sure that everyone is as fucking miserable as possible in terms of both human rights and economy. So what the fuck is anyone's excuse for supporting this? I don't believe that there is anything a Trump supporter could tell me now that would convince me that they're not just evil, cruel, profoundly stupid, walking talking pieces of shit.
he's old and does not give a shit. it's never going to affect him or anyone he cares about.
wow, a president is trying to bring back plastic straws that are already still here. get this guy on rushmore today...! why haven't other presidents done things that are as great?
He makes international deals with Canada and Mexico by throwing out the deal he himself made while scorning the idiot that made it, and then threatening tariffs until he gets concessions in the form of things they were already doing. Our righteous savior, America. God help us all.
As a non American, maybe someone can help clarify something.
My understanding is that executive orders only apply to federal agencies. So does this just mean that cafeterias in federal office buildings will need to use plastic straws? And restaurants / stores are completely unaffected by this?
Yeah basically.
Praise Trump! He’s saved America by bringing plastic straws back to the White House cafeteria!
:D
someone fucking shoot me now
lemme guess. he slobbers all over his straws and the one time he was served a paper-based straw it got a little 'mushy'.
like windmills ruined his golf course view so they must be the worst way to generate energy
I've got a plastic straw in my drink right now?
Thanks, Trump.
I hate doing coke with the paper ones.
If you're really old school, McDonalds used to give out coffee stirrer spoons. 
Bruh what is paper money for
Buying the coke.
Money is duel use when it comes to cocaine.
Thems fightin words!
executive order! very important issue
They never went anywhere? They've been for sale around here all along.
certain states banned them. this would federally make it illegal to ban them at the state level, as far as I understand. you know, states' rights and all
Well, I for one have now completely reversed my opinion on this whole kerfuffle we are all enjoying so much.
It was the final straw?
Not anymore. Thank you, supreme leader!
WTAF? They never went anywhere.