Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
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Dave.
No last name, just Dave.
I'd go with something that has a little more class than most of the suggestions here. Something with a certain ring to it. Like... Biggus Dickus
What's so funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
My last name is a gemstone that is already used by strippers/pornstars often so I would probably keep that as the second part of my name but come up with something funny and/or masculine sounding for the first part since I'm a straight guy and not a female stripper/porn star.
Fuck it ill go with Dick Diamond.
Gives you a opportunity for great catch phrase:
"I'm as hard as a diamond" "Dont bite this diamond" "This diamond performs under intense heat and pressure"
I have used all of these and more accompanied by a goofy smirk. My girlfriends have not found it as funny as I have. Haha
"Diamonds are forever" and "Diamonds are a woman's best friends" are interesting catch phrases too
Too Many Pancakes.
Because I'm fat but flat.
Fair lmao
Chode Loadington
And I, Load Chodington, will be your arch nemesis and steal all your roles.
Ugot Badtaste
If you're watching me then you definitely do. Lol
Al Dente: the perfect balance between soft and hard.
Phil McKraken
Phil McRevis
Clyde Taurez
Dick Fitzwell
Haywood Jablome
Harry Ballzanya
Roy Mustang. Always thought that guy was wasting his time in the military with a name like that
Rock Hardman
A Hideo Kojima inspired porno, no doubt.
Nano Soft
I would go through LinkedIn and pick a person at random, use their name with the exact same spelling and any alphabet soup they have behind their name
Jerry Thompson, Esq Mary Kowalski, F.A.C.S. Dr. Alan Carter, DDS, FACP
These are all fake btw. I mean they may not be but if they are it’s genuinely a coincidence. That would be so weird
Average Richard
Standard rules. Middle name and the street you grew up on.
Alan Woodbine.
Jared 832N County. Sexy
Johnson Street would be great for this… if I had one.
Nice Cockbra
Hugh Jdisappointment
Ghonna Reah.
Jon Reremy
D O N G
George Washington Lemon Fresca
Dru Peacock
That One Guy.
"Ugh why is That One Guy suddenly in all the porn? He really ruins it!"
Silky Johnson
Jasmine Mourningwood, and i would be a goth femboy, (so only a little change)
Diablito Diablo
^
^
secretlyaddictedtodick
Curly McDick
Busting balkaner
G Hitman
Probably something with "Bear“ and "small“ like BearySmalls or something idk I’m a short and very obese hetero guy - no one would wanna watch me besides a few FFAs whose preferences I cover.
Tunacan Pete
Mickey Mouth