this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2025
30 points (85.7% liked)

Asklemmy

47726 readers
1 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I love the thought of people thinking of me obsessively and wanting to be just like me.

top 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Jealous/envious of me? No.

Impressed by me? Yes.

Inspired by me? Double Yes.

Learn a cautionary tale from me? No.

Edit: proofreading better...

[–] milkisklim@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

frpm me?

Too late, cautionary tale learned. Jk.

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My phone keyboard is bad. Fantastically bad. I suck at proofreading, but shit is it bad.

Anyway, cleaning up my terrible editing. Thanks for highlighting it. πŸ˜€

[–] milkisklim@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Any time! I make typos constantly, so feel free to point mine out in turn.

[–] raptore39@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I second this

[–] JPSound@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Here's the thing tho. Nobody thinks about you even 1% of what you think they do. It seems like youre saying, "I need validation and want to be a part of the bigger world outside my own" which is totally fair. It's even healthy, especially when compared to escapism and isolation. If your actions and behavior cause people to have a negative reaction, i.e. jealousy, obsessions, I encourage you to reevaluate what's within yourself that desires that negative attention. People will think of you far far more if your behavior and actions gives those around you positive reactions. Trade the desire to make them jealous for inspiring them by being a healthy, upstanding rolemodel. Trade "I" statements for "you" questions. People crave and are drawn to those who show an interest in them, just as you admit to in this post. Make the world a better place, not a more anxious place and you'll find all that attention you desire becomes a far more reasonably attainable goal.

[–] python@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

... do people actually do that? As in, is strong jealousy really a thing?

I'd like to believe that each of us builds their life into the exact thing they need, so swapping places with anyone else would be terribly uncomfortable. So I can't relate as to why anyone would ever be jealous i guess haha

I also don’t get your other replier. I too like the life I’m building but I would appreciate swapping with not having to worry about money haha

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 12 points 1 year ago

You're thinking of envy, not jealousy so much: Envy is when you want something someone else has, jealousy is when you don't want others to have what you have.

I wouldn't want people to be jealous of me, people act very poorly when they are jealous.

[–] Mobiuthuselah@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

Emphatically no. I cut people concerned with jealousy out of my life. That shit's toxic.

[–] blunderworld@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I dont know you, but this sounds like narcissistic personality disorder.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

It's a common symptom of it.

[–] weeeeum@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Look through their post history lol

[–] small44@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

No, that would make me a narcessist

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 9 points 1 year ago

I remember your handle - IIRC you posted before about having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Wanting people to be jealous of you seems apropos.

[–] Michal@programming.dev 8 points 1 year ago

No, i wouldn't like to be a center of attention.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Nah I'd rather they leave me the fuck alone and focus on their own shit. But I have nothing for anyone to be jealous of I don't think.

[–] sunzu2@thebrainbin.org 2 points 1 year ago

But I have nothing for anyone to be jealous of I don't think.

The thing about jealousy isn't it ain't about the object, it is all about "muhh feels"

And you would surprised how deranged people can get lol

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

Nah. I'd rather go unnoticed by everyone outside those I love.

[–] sunzu2@thebrainbin.org 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The older you get, the less you care.

After 30, it is very hard to give a fuck about anything beyond having a fat bank account to care of your dependants.

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Idk man, I'm past 30 and I care less that I have money and more that everyone I love has what they need.

[–] Mobiuthuselah@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm over 30 and see true wealth as a measure of the love I give and receive. You can't buy that.

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Yes exactly!

[–] guy@piefed.social 6 points 1 year ago

God no. I wouldn't want to be jealous of me

nope nope nope. I want to be incredibly anonymous.

[–] LambdaRX@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

Only positive thing in jealousy is: that it would indicate, that I have something to value in my life.

No.

No one should want to be me.

If someone wanted to be me I'd feel nothing but pity and shame.

[–] Alice@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Not really. I find when people are jealous they either try to cut you down in subtle ways, or they self deprecate and guilt trip just because you happen to have something going right for you.

I'd like to be admirable, I think. I'd prefer to rub off on people in a positive way than a negative one.

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

Only people I really dislike. For everyone else, no, I don't need or want their jealousy.

I've had people jealous of me. People who tried to steal my spouse or thought they would be so happy living my life.

It didn't make me one bit happier. Sometimes it made me suffer, that they didn't see that things were really difficult for me in ways that were invisible.

That feeling that I thought was wanting a perfect life was really needing anxiety meds I am way happier with well-adjusted meds.

[–] monovergent@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

No, I don't want to attract thieves and weird fans.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

No, quite honestly I do want to live an enviable life AND would be so happy if everyone else did too. I do not want other people to literally want my life, no. I want them to be too happy with their own lives to care about mine.

[–] lemming934@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago

An excellent contrapoints video explores this topic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPhrTOg1RUk

[–] Reil@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

No; jealousy paints a target on your back. I'd rather people wish well for me and feel that my victories are at least indirectly theirs.

Failing that, I'd want others to be unaware of my existence.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Hell no. The green monster can friggin kill you

[–] Suppoze@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Never thought about it... I'd say no. But I'd like my friends and family to be proud of me (as well as myself)

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 1 points 1 year ago

No. It makes relations with them difficult.

[–] donuts@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I love the thought of people thinking of me obsessively and wanting to be just like me.

Depends what for. If you're consuming and spending money you don't have to look successful to your peers, I'd say no.

If you mean jealous because of how good of a person you are, maybe.

Either way, I would hate people thinking of me obsessively. I'd rather just be left alone and let me do my thing.