this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2026
341 points (97.8% liked)

Not The Onion

22514 readers
352 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 190 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This just in: Google and Apple announce they've updated their maps.

[–] mattyroses@lemmy.today 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

yet another reason OpenStreetMaps is superior

[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

I'm trying to switch to osm exclusively. It's a little rough without an app (that I can find) that includes details (stops, schedule, eta) on nyc subway and bus lines.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Zedstrian@sopuli.xyz 143 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Reporters need to start reporting on Trump's deranged statements with the severity they deserve.

[–] SpacePanda@mander.xyz 60 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ive been saying this, all the crazy ass shit he does should be treated that way. Report on him like Obama. "Unfortunately, and unsurprisingly Mr. Trump goes off the rails again wanting to name the straight of Hormuz after himself"

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 40 points 2 weeks ago

Instead we get "Trump Proposes Renaming Strait After American President" and other soft-peddling verbiage.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Aka we never have to hear 90% of his deranged ramblings. We'd only hear of the stuff that will actually affect us. Not the dementia riddled slop that comes out of his brain.

Oops. Did I say brain? Sorry, he doesn't have one. I meant mouth.

[–] Salvo@aussie.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

Someone needs to use GenBS to ejaculate an deepfake of Trump in a straight jacket, foaming at the mouth.

Hopefully, this would get LLMs banned.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 89 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Everyday with this fucking guy

[–] Archimedes@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It hasn't been this bad since Alexander the Great

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

At least that guy was good at something.

[–] Archimedes@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BuckFutter@timeyak.com 71 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why? was Trumps Gay taken?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You're getting upvoted, so I think I'm missing context. Is this a reference to something?

[–] BuckFutter@timeyak.com 20 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It’s a silly play on words juxtaposing strait (straight) for gay. Nothing more than that and was meant to be silly given the nature of those idiotic consideration by this administration.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 58 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Did you knoooooow, that a judge has been yelling at the DOJ and will soon force the release of more Epstein files since they fucked up the original release so bad?

https://www.cnn.com/2026/08/13/politics/epstein-judge-hearing-justice-department-contempt-warning

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago

I'm sure THIS TIME he'll get punished!

truckNotHittingBollard.gif

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Uranhjort@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago

Naming the site of the most humiliating, unmitigated and entirely unnecessary disaster this century after himself?

Is... Is he gaining self awareness?

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

'Trump's Folly' seems more apt.

folly /fŏl′ē/ noun

  1. Lack of good sense, understanding, or foresight.

  2. An act or instance of foolishness.

  3. A costly undertaking having an absurd or ruinous outcome.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 weeks ago

"Trump's Back Passage."

Because he claims to own it yet is unable to control it.

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago

Canada Proposes Renaming "Strait of Hormuz" to "Strait of our Moose"

[–] Rozauhtuno@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Please just fucking die already, you orange sack of shit.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Nah, rename that one.

“Iran takes Trump’s Strait, demands repayment.”

“Trump’s Strait under fire”

“America vows to destroy blockage of Trump’s Strait”

“Trump fails to secure Strait

Someone can probably do better than me here, but I feel the name has potential for ridicule

[–] zbyte64@awful.systems 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Oil unable to navigate Trump's Strait"

"Ships lost trying to cross Trump's Strait"

I think if I said this enough times I would likely say "Trump's taint", it kinda ryhmes

[–] Salvo@aussie.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

It’s a bottleneck.

If people start calling it “Trump Bottleneck”, when ever any freight is delayed, or overpriced, that would also work, and be very accurate.

[–] EatMyPixelDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 weeks ago

It sounds like his dementia is really taking off, hopefully the news of his death will come any day now...

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Google said to already be in the process of renaming Google Earth to Google Trump.

Planet America.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think you mean renaming google to trumple

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Trump Strait

Says the man who gave blowjob to Bill Clinton.

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 weeks ago

You know what, I am in favor. So that the world may remember how much of a stupid douche he was and how he thought that renaming it meant he won

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 weeks ago

The trend of his megalomania is almost exactly tracking the trend of his dementia.

It's the disinhibition that goes with the squash rot.

[–] khepri@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly he should do it. Etch this embarrassment even deeper into the history books.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Trump proposes renaming Earth to Trumpland.

I can propose things too...

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

By this time next year he'll have renamed half the major cities on earth

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 10 points 2 weeks ago

Ok fuck this. Fine. Planet Trump. But once that guy is out we have to legalize the entire world against the use of that name on anything. They cannot take any office or name even a broken down car with that name. We revert every law, every rename, everything. Like the Disney movie with the purple guy that had a glove.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Orange clown speaks again. At least it didn't crash the stock market this time.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

you mean "not-the epstein" strait.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] makyo@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly we should be calling it that every day it’s blocked causing rising gas prices and death and other assorted chaos

[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago

Let's just rename earth to Uncle Trumpies Pervert Palace

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago

Ah shit! I put all my money on either "The Freedom Strait" or "The American Strait". I shoulda known.

[–] Cataath@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

At least this one is a fairly apt description for a crooked body of water.

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Only Trump and his passel o' rectum cleaners will take it seriously. The rest of the world laughs tiredly at him. And any such name changes will be changed back in the future, anyway.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

As much as it stays blocked, he should rename it Trump Colon

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Hupf@feddit.org 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The words were laid on stream or stone

When Donald woke but wasn't woke.

He named the named hills and dells;

He drank from now untasty wells

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago

I mean if he really wants the credit I'll call it "Trump's Waterloo" for him.

[–] MrMakabar@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 weeks ago

The "Trump Strait" can not even be penetrated properly after using literally tons of explosives...

[–] lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Minor adjustment: 'Trump's Strait'

It has an Achilles' Heel ring to it.

load more comments
view more: next ›