this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 31 comments
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[–] korazail@lemmy.myserv.one 1 points 42 minutes ago

I've been high in public just once. Had a friend take me on a random adult playdate. We had a sober chaperone and the rest of us were enjoying that 2008 farm bill. It was simultaneously the most interesting and terrifying time I've ever had. It was nice to just exist and attempt to talk like a rational human with friends who knew what was going on, but any time someone else (like a waiter) tried to interact with me, I turned into the OP image and was like "Just act normal!"

Was a neat experience that I will never repeat.

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Yeah i'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number SIX with EXTRA DIP! Two number forty fives, one with cheese and a large soda

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

Tell me more about these beef wings…

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 hour ago

I do that irrespectively of the current degree of high

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 21 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

The guy ahead of me is taking forever to decide what he wants, and he's also facing the wrong direction. Oh shit that's the cashier and I've been staring at him in silence for 20 minutes

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 0 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I was doing my taxes one night on April 15th and while looking for my W2s I found a bag of weed that I had misplaced weeks before. I hadn't smoked since I had lost it so I naturally toked up and completed my tax form (thank god for the 1040-EZ form). Then I drove to a post office that was open until midnight and had a drive-thru lane to accommodate us tax procrastinators. Then I drove through the drive-thru lane twice, each time giving the dude collecting envelopes a "what the fuck are you looking at?" scowl before realizing too late that he had a legitimate reason for looking at me. I managed to hand him my return on the third trip through the line and he just laughed.

[–] Pieisawesome@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 hour ago

If you are so high you did that, you shouldn’t be driving

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

I think this song might be.....as the kids say....... a banger

[–] Polisheocket@lemmy.zip 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

This is where I go wrong, I practice it, I’ll mess it up, I just have to wing it, 60% success rate

[–] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Oh man I didn’t want McNuggets but I guess I’ll eat em. Daaaamn these are crazy good

[–] Polisheocket@lemmy.zip -2 points 9 hours ago

Damn straight, but I’ll salad sometimes and be like wrf did I do?

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 13 hours ago

I'll get whatever the person behind me ordered

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 30 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

I love when you practice it in your head about forty-three times and when you get up to the head of the line you awkwardly smile for an embarrassingly long period of time before you realize you didn't actually say anything yet.

[–] zikzak025@lemmy.world 25 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

"What'll ya have?"

"Good thanks, you?" (fuckfuckfuck)

[–] lividweasel@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

“Enjoy your meal!”

“Thanks, you too.”

“…”

“…”

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 1 points 3 hours ago

Done that. :)

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 8 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Then I notice that the place is closed and follow the trail of broken glass back into the night.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago

practicing my order in my head

And that smile slowly fades away as every person in front of you never bothered to check the menu whole waiting in line so you end up standing there for 10 minutes

[–] Janx@piefed.social 8 points 12 hours ago

"I'll have two #9s, a #9 large, a #6 with extra dip, a #7, two #45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."

[–] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.world 9 points 13 hours ago

hello i would like a burgget meal

haven't seen a line in McDonald's in years, you have to use those god awful kiosks

[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 hours ago

And driving a car. . . .

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 hours ago

Ultra Classic.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

Order #2319, coming right up.

[–] trijste@lemmy.ca 4 points 14 hours ago

Nothing more human than self defining as ape like and monstrous but capable of chill exchanges

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 4 points 15 hours ago

Cheese preenish

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 2 points 13 hours ago

Its like a bell curve but instead the y axis is your iq(or i guess it should be eq in this case) and the x axis is your age. When i was small i was always nervous ordering so i would practice it in my head, then i grew up and became better at it and stopped being anxious and then even later i started ordering at the local pizzeria while high as hell which basically circled back to me being 8 💀

[–] iThinkDifferentThanU@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago

Ewe McDonald's nasty ass shit burger turns ya orange and dumb