This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
"I beat the game"
Lmao, people who think marriage is like the final boss of a video game clearly have no idea what kind of life they're in for. You got married, congrats, you beat THE TUTORIAL. Now welcome to REAL LIFE.
I have met newlyweds like this. They don't last. Nothing wrong with celebrating the marriage, of course, but "happily ever after" is a fairy tale for a reason.
Each people grew up differently. I was taught to live my life and be myself at an early age. But as I grow older I realised not everyone were taught the same. I love my mates but two of them are conformists as if relationships are end-all-be-all. They kinda think that there are arbitrary goal posts to reach at certain age.
Is Occam's Razor the right term here?
What I do know is that people in happy marriages or divorce on good terms are often not the ones making the loudest noise.
While it's true that we should advance at our own pace, what's also true is that we shouldn't get comfortable with the idea that things will always go our way, especially as we age.
Often, having a good relationshio or, better, a marriage is exactly what people need in case things happen that would otherwise leave us vulnerable, and it goes both ways.
Obviously fake, but what’s the gay angle?
Oh yeah, I remembered they think having a girlfriend is gay because you cucked yourself by having an adult relationship with another human.
There is nothing more gay than sleeping with a woman. She's had a ton of dick and cum inside her, by transitive math, your dick is touching more dick & cum than vagina, this makes it gay.
Sucking a cock however is the straightest thing you can do, that cock has seen tons of pussy, the math tells no lie, you're getting more theoretical vagina in your mouth than real cock.
I was waiting for the end where now shes hotter and dumps him for "chad"
“Aryan goddess”
The first thing I thought was Persian / North Indian woman. So odd that Nazis co-opted that history.
Yeah he's dating Anahita. I'd brag if I could pull her too.
Daaaamn, did you see that gilded silver bowl?
The first thing I thought was Persian / North Indian woman. So odd that Nazis co-opted that history.
Satire but horrendous views on women which now that i say it maybe means it isnt satire given 4chan. Oh wait theyre dating, yeah its satire
Horrible in a lot of ways, but "I'll try and date women who are interested in me and we'll build healthier habits in one another" is a much better outcome than I expect here.
Also, if we're being honest. I needed a push to try and date "in my league" so I could realize that I am worthy of love and build my own self worth to the point that I was a better person both to myself and to partners back when I was a big virgin at risk for incel thinking
The text is satire, but the sentiment exists in the wild and is out of fucking control.
You shouldn't look at your partner as a fixer-upper. Physically, that is.
I mean true.
That said it's definitely nice when people make each other healthier
what about if you live in a disney movie?
The only disney movies i watched that didn't make me want to die was the TRON films.
You wanted to die after watching Hercules, Tarzan, or the Lion King??
As a kid, I saw Tarzan as "haha monke man go ooaooaooaoooaooo".
As an adult, I interpret its message as integration being contingent upon conformity and usefulness to society.
He expressly did NOT conform to their vision of (English) humankind and instead brought them to his world in the jungle, at the end.
He wasn't accepted among the adult gorillas until he killed the leopard. Then he was only seen by the explorers as a scientific curiosity, and by the poachers as a means to find the gorillas.
Yeah? But that wasn't the end of the movie? Those are the challenges in his way before the end of the movie. Where the moral comes in?
He kills a leopard, proving to the gorillas that he is strong enough to go with them. Their issue (and primarily the leader of the pack's issue) is that he isn't as adept at survival because of his human body. Tarzan was failing their expectation of "survival of the fittest" that they have because they are gorillas. But now they aren't openly ostracising him, even if the leader is still prejudiced against him.
Then the humans come, who look like him. He doesn't have to struggle so hard to fit in, like he did with gorillas. He even fell in love. But then he found out that just because these humans looked more similar to him, that didn't mean they cared about the same things he did. In killing Clayton in defense of his biggest gorilla detractor (and consequently his gorilla family), he's rejecting the apparent human connection and Kerchak, the gorilla leader, finally accepts the sincerity of Tarzan's devotion to community despite assuming Tarzan would side with them.
Everyone learns lessons.
Did y'all just turn off the movie when Tarzan starts walking on two feet?
How fucking objectifying.
Also: "Aryan"
I mean, isn’t the “pepe the frog” used by those types?
Not exclusively, no.
lose my virginity to her
Obviously fake. As if a 4chan user is ever going to lose his virginity.
Does it count if you lose your virginity after you stop visiting 4chan?
Except to fictional guys
Fake and gay.
Fake: anon got laid
Gay: anon went to a gym
squishier girls are cute and adorable and incredibly lovable too :3 (and awesome to snuggle with)
honestly get real anon uwu
Need some padding to survive the winter
Lass needs some extra buffer to survive the English raiders.
I like them a little squishy. Squishy is good. I'm a little squishy too.
Muscles are still squishy when relaxed. It's not like Michael Phelps is permanently hard as steel.
Only when he sees you ;3
I have had numerous women tell me they dated lower body fat guys and found the cuddling to be significantly worse. Getting shredded is not what women generally want you to do it's what guys want you to do.
Even if this wasn't fake and gay she'd just leave him with her newfound confidence
You don't understand Women's insecurities very well. Her confidence is now tied to OP. She doesn't believe she is a 10, she believes that OP makes her a 10.
Assuming it wasn't fake and gay of course...
no, what she she needs is a muscle mommy to convince her she loves women now and to leave OP for her.
Technically speaking, that is the case. She would be dependent on OP to stay as she is. Eating disorders suuuuuck, but so does codependence.
What a disgusting piece of text. 🤮
It's anon what did you expect?
Sounds like a lot of work. I just date women I find attractive regardless of size and encourage them to live a lifestyle that makes them happy. If a hot chick that's into me is fat I'm just going to be happy a hot chick is into me.
Doesn't anon mean "but" instead of "and" in the last sentence? It's annoying me how often people seem to mix these two words