this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] explodIng_lIme@lemmy.world 94 points 4 months ago (4 children)
[–] snooggums@piefed.world 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] urushitan@kakera.kintsugi.moe 5 points 4 months ago

Insert, upsert

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

there are so many links that i've clicked expecting to be horny that turned out to be IT server stuff >:|

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

i feel that this is not appropriate for children and i want this changed to dom/sub or top/bottom. maybe dick/butt. poker/hole?

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 5 points 4 months ago

I mean, main/sub is a strong alternative ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[–] SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world 80 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

Construction is like this too.

Erection, nipples, rods, pipes, vibrators, lube, rope, caulk, penetrate, lay hardwood, and my all time favorite. “Hey Frank, come give me a reach around, I need an extra hand here”

Edit, nailing studs.

[–] Denvil@piefed.world 35 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I love telling people who aren't from Cincinnati that I had a threeway with some strangers in a parking lot

That is, I ate a 3-way (Cincinnati chili, cheese, and spaghetti) in a parking lot on lunch break with some random plumbers who were also taking their break there

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

how do you know someone's from Cincinnati?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

[–] Denvil@piefed.world 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'll have you know that Cincinnati cuisine is the absolute greatest cuisine to EVER originate in Cincinnati

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

I cannot disagree. You guys need the tautology award for tautology award winners.

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 10 points 4 months ago

Some men are born great
Some men achieve greatness
... and some are from Ohio

Political slogan from the 1840's Presidential campaign ("Tippacanoe and Tyler too!")

[–] DarthFreyr@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

"Get me some oil so I can tap this tight hole. You're going to need to screw it hard, and then drop a double nut on it. Make sure to keep your bush clean, or you can try sticking your finger in and twisting it around, otherwise you'll never get this hard shaft into it. And remember: if it's walking funny when you drill, try putting the tip between a pair of nuts."

Maybe a bit more machining, but it's not even a stretch to make it sound absolutely terrible. Those are all even pretty reasonable statements in context (if you know zero slang), not just isolated words.

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[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 62 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] ultrafastsloth@lemmy.world 50 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 52 points 4 months ago (2 children)

haha forking processes and killing children

wait

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 17 points 4 months ago

Remove child from parent using fork

:)

[–] pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Daemon spawning mmm

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 36 points 4 months ago (1 children)

We used to finger our users too.

[–] Zoop@beehaw.org 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hey, lots of people still do! I've seen talk of using it nowadays a few separate times lately, including earlier today of someone setting it up for the first time. It's neat!

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 3 points 4 months ago

Anyone talking about using finger nowadays should be considered very very suspect, same way you'd look at someone suggesting rlogin

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finger_(protocol)#Security_concerns

https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/decades-old-finger-protocol-abused-in-clickfix-malware-attacks/

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh my god I'm sorry I compiled so fast. This never happens. You're just so pretty...

[–] cbazero@programming.dev 13 points 4 months ago

I dumped my core so fast ...

[–] vrek@programming.dev 21 points 4 months ago

Unzip. Finger. Fsck. Sleep.

[–] Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 4 months ago

I think there are 4 reasons:

  1. Most people are very horny
  2. It people are very online
  3. A lot of it people are obsessive with it, consequently easily identifiable as such.
  4. Other professions aren't as identifiable, or online.
[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Linux shell also has... a thing going on.

touch
top
mount
man
fsck
[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Software, firmware, and hardware.

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[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

--verbose is for when you want dirty talk

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[–] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

you cannot create art if you aren't horny.

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[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 months ago

touch grass

[–] joe@lemmy.today 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Look, most of us are just kinda repressed and low-level horny at all times

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[–] Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 7 points 4 months ago

It goes WAY back.

The Apollo Guidance Computer software had a routine called KISSING. ...about LM-CM docking, of course.

You saw the opening scene of Apollo 13 and thought only the astronauts used horny references in regards to the docking? Think again! So did the programmers.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Wait till you get into game development. You'll be doing a lot of parent/child relationship, and killing orphans.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 months ago

Tell me more about Alice's brother Bob's sisters.

Maybe they can help me find a new way to decompress.

[–] pewpew@feddit.it 5 points 4 months ago

That feeling when your code compiles after a long session of refactoring

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 months ago

It's all the trans girls and eggs. We tend to show up in software roles a lot, and we tend to be pretty horny.

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