#stretchmypolarvortex
this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2026
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Big Canadian naturals
"Colder than a witch's tits!", as some of my relatives are fond of saying.
Dad used to say 'drier than a nuns nasty', kinda has the same vibe
"Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra!"
Doing pushups in the snow.
Colder than a witch's tits in a brass bra in Nebraska.
Told ya, on some get-rich shit
As he gets older he gets colder than a witch tit
In Canada they get hard nipples in the cold. In the US it hits different.
I should call her
Fuck yeah I'm in the underboob.
Lucky you, I am in the areola and fucking freezing! And what's worse is we're not even getting snow, it's more like tiny hail.
I'm surprised anything falls at those temps, must be all the moisture getting freeze-dried out of the air.
The hot water in my kitchen keeps freezing off, even with the special heater installed under the sink to keep the pipes warm.
Homie, can I bitch about it real quick? Sorry, I'm going to do it anyways cause I'm stuck inside!
So I live in one of those "Sears' catalog" wood cabins. I'm from the equator originally, so solid water in the environment is something completely foreign to me. But my place has had frozen/busted pipes twice since I've moved in. I went full 'tism super Saiyan and researched shit for a few days. And for once it actually got me fucking results!!!
I got these line heaters meant to be wrapped around the pipes, but if you stretch them out by only going around the pipe once and then wrap them in cheap cast fabric, you can save so much money!
Bitch away! I'm from the milder weather on the east - Tons of snow for a month and a perfect 17⁰C every other day.
Damn. But isn't skating super fun? I bought cross country skis and binoculars last year to help me enjoy the cold and dark.
I should look into that. The problem is the pipes run through a wall, I call it "The Wall," because it's ice all the fucking time. I can't figure out exactly where it's freezing, and it runs behind built in cabinets. The super special heater was put in because of burst pipes, so I guess it stopped that.
At least, this year, I haven't woken up to indoor winter with the basement heater screaming bloody murder through the house, and had to shuffle outside at Stupid AM to knock the ice off the intake... yet.
Looks like a derpy fish looking at you in the thumbnail, but weirdly I only see tits when I open the full image.
I see a smiling blob monster. People have been online too much.
I see a face from a horror story
It's not that cold, just a little nipply.
Stop skipping me!
WLKY? More like Milky, am I right?
Is that's why it's so cold in Ontario now?
I should call her..