I strongly disagree. He can be circumcised, again and again and again! A ocean safe alternative to calamari!
this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2026
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Hold up! We could end world hunger! Just like wood supplies, with a permanently lying pinocchio...
Vegan calamari! Wolverine can consent.
I don't know about Vegan....
Yeah. It's a real criteria to vegan food, it has to be given with consent. It's an intentional thing to exclude animals and animal-derived products, like milk or honey.
I get the ethics of that concept. however... it is a tool we can use?
Horror level sci fi thought experiment that has no material relevance, only an abstract though experiment.
let's say I use artificial selection to breed intelligent animals that will consent (yhea, far fetched, but it's a thought experiment so let's accept that premise). you might point that consent ends when the breeding program began, but all I had to do is take away candidates that aren't good from the breeding pool and let them breed freely. That as consentual as wildlife breeding gets.
would eating the meat of those animals be vegan?
fuck there's a Rick and Morty episode about that.
Horror level sci fi
Or comedy-level sci-fi.
https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Ameglian_Major_Cow
The creature offers Zaphod and his party his shoulder, braised in a white wine sauce, then goes on to offer other parts of its body, having worked hard to fatten itself up through force-feeding itself for months. Eventually, after Arthur and Trillian have expressed their shock and Ford has expressed his disinterest, Zaphod requests four rare steaks and the Dish of the Day goes off to shoot himself, telling Arthur not to worry, as he says "I'll be very humane."
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There's an interesting argument that honey can be vegan, by that criteria.
A bee colony is not generally trapped in a hive. They are capable of leaving, if it's not to their standards, or they find somewhere between. The catch is that artificial bee hives are amazing for bees, compared to natural locations. The only catch is the "rent" taken by the eldritch creatures. They never take too much however, only taking excess the hive doesn't need.
Basically bees could be argued to be paying rent, in honey, for high quality accommodation.
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... [...]and yet the willingly offered menstrual black pudding and psoriasis crackling again remained untouched at the vegan dinner party.
Edit: Just realised black pudding might be a bit too regional. Black pudding (wiki link) is a "sliced blood sausage"
Yeah, well, part II of something being vegan is that it has to be accepted with consent as well.
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So do the plants consent?
Of course not. It's a silly concept.
Which is exactly why it's hilarious that vegans should be eating fried foreskins.
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Endless organ harvesting.
Mutants typically gain their powers at puberty. If he was circumcized as a baby would it regrow when he gets his powers? Or just heal stuff from that point forward? Or was wolverine unique in that he always had his healing powers?
He was born in a British colony long before circumcision would have been anything other than a religious rite.
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Wolverine has a belly button but he has not regrown his umbilical cord
Technically untrue, it just doesn't last. Similarly, he can have his ears pierced, but the jewelry will quickly be expelled or subsumed. 🥲
Now I'm imagining wolverine putting in loop earrings and his skin just grows overtop of them until it looks like flesh earrings
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On the contrary, wolverine can be circumcised infinitely
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce
Just leaving this here, with the understanding that Jesus can magically heal people.
I could have gone at least three more days into the new year without having known about this.
~Goddamnit.~
Amen!
The man multiplied bread and fish, why not his own foreskin?
Why aren't his earlobes and nose really long, given he's over 200 years old, and a lot of old people have extra growth in their nose and ear cartilage? I'm sorry, but until this is addressed in comics, I just can't believe Wolverine is real.
Because his healing factor gives him the body of someone in like their mid-30's, not the body of a really old person that would have extra growth in their nose and ear cartilage?
Easy, with his lifestyle his ears and nose are definitely younger than 200 years; he's lost and had to regrow them several times both on paper and on screen.
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Or would it be more like getting a haircut to him?
Most hair maxes out in length because of wear
If anything he can be circumcised repeatedly, surely?
By this logic Laura Kinney's hymen gets broken every time she has sex.
Good thing theres no such thing as “breaking” a hymen.
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... What about teeth?
... Does he just keep growing teeth?
If a man is freshly circumcised, and Wolverine quickly circumcises himself and then sticks his penis to the other man, would be become conjoined to the other person at the penis (as it heals)?
What effect would this have on the other person, if the blood from Wolverine's boner now extends to the other person? Does he get regenerative powers too or only around his junk?
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