Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
Image transcription:
I'll start:
Your turn
Hard mode: Try not to include closer to domain-specific things like javascript library names
World wide web would be an OP spell
A crack forms below you… and suddenly a tunnel collapses inward beneath your feet.
After a short while your fall is arrested. You are now snagged in a web, in the dim light lit from where you fell you can see this web goes on, all around you, seemingly forever.
Ethernet
Force Merge
Polymorphism
The orc becomes a pile of gelatin, quivering, you now must choose what it will become.
Roll for…
... seduction
You roll a 1.
This causes an unauthorized access exception and a giant bouncer rapidly approaches, screaming in fury.
Encapsulation kinda sounds like it could be a spell too. That's 2/3 pillars of OOP.
The last one was atomization, right? Gets a bit out of fantasy, but can definitely sound magical
I cast atomization on the giant. (9th level warlock spell)
On a failed save the targets head evaporates killing them outright.
On a success roll a d4 (or higher for higher number of limbs) and the limb clockwise from the head evaporates. Dealing either 25% or 150HP which ever is higher damage.
Disconnect Peripheral: Removes someone's limb.
Critical Vulnerability: Increases critical hit rate.
Memory buffer: Allows you yo remember things better.
spawn daemon
I had a bit too much fun with these :)
Transmission Control Protocol - Modifies teleportation and summoning to be very specific.
Universal Datagram Protocol - see "Shout"
Reroot tree: Tree digs itself out of the ground, walks to another location and takes root, as if it's always been there.
Heap sort: More advanced technique for which Reroot tree is a prerequisite for some reason. Arranges assortments of things into neat piles with only one kind of object per pile. Very useful when looking for things in treasure chambers.
"I cast heap sort on the owlbear."
"..."
"The owlbear is sorted into neat piles, the first containing hair/nails/claws/beaks, the second feathers, the third bone, the fourth meat, the fifth blood.."
Power word: Infinite Recursion
Boot Loop - ties someone's shoelaces together
I could actually see this being a cantrip for a bard or arcane trickster. It's almost innocent in its mischief but would be a worthwhile hindrance on the battlefield.
For shoes without laces and creatures without shoes it could simply loop magical string around them.
Prob just a cut to movement with a dex save at the start of every move (like once per turn but they can avoid it by choosing not to move). Doesn't need to be a high save, but if they fail, they trip.
Since it's a cantrip they can remove the string with an action, and they last a number of turns equal to caster level.
I'd also love to see a DM be creative with how much it effects certain creatures. Centipede? Probably a little pissed but not too hindered by stumbling on one pair of legs. 1 legged Pete? Completely unaffected as he jumps at you with his 1 leg.
LUT - A table appears 10ft above your target and falls on it dealing 1d6 bludgeoning.
"LOOK! UP! TABLE!"
I am a level 17 Install Wizard.
Installation Wizard - A wizard hired to protect a specific building or location.
alternatively just an HVAC technician who casts enchantments
"For the last time i am NOT an 'installation wizard', i am an engineer! I didn't spend 5 years studying enchantments just for people to compare me to bedsheet-wearing dementia-addled codgers!"
Roll for intelligence.. 16. The progress of the one hit BEG killing spell is 33%
Roll for intelligence.. 3. The progress of the one hit BEG killing spell is 96%. That’s the only action you can take on your turn. You better hope the party can stop the army from hitting the power source of this spell before it finishes.
Roll for intelligence… 5. Since that would be more than 100 the progress of the spell rolls back to 91%.
Boot
malloc
Tell me that isn't the name of a demon.
Race condition
Physical Layer
Fast Fourier Transform
COBOL
Penetration testing
Tiger Team
Zombie process
Alice, Bob and Carol (some NPCs)
Fortran!
Halt and Catch Fire
Pseudocode
Daemon Thread
Ruby on Rails
Onion Router
Python Commands
All leap to mind.
Default Gateway
Split Horizon
Routing Overhead
Broadcast Storm
edit:fkn markdown
Dependency injection
wine control launches Wine's sparse control panel (most options are under winecfg). You can use it at fancy parties for fun tricks or to make someone puke.
Disaster Recovery sounds like a great party name.
Rust - rusts metal. When miscast, makes the target a crab of some sort
Go - Same as "command" spell
Regular Expression - makes any cryptic message understandable in a language you know
Transfer Protocol - allows the teleportation of one packet to a willing host
Read Only - cast on a book, scroll or any other thing with written words. Ensures no further words can be written. No scribbles or any sort of artwork will stick either. The object can still be destroyed
Icon - For a short period, the target of the spell becomes a beloved, or hated, icon of a subject. IE: beloved icon of beauty, hated icon of music.
Master Boot Record - this magical list contains all the master level boots ever created and their current whereabouts
Partition Table - allows any object with at least 2 flat sides to be cut into any shape
Superuser