Granted. You're now in the bell riots
this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2025
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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I will one-up Star Trek and say I want to live within The Culture. Nothing yet beats The Culture. The Federation looks conservative, backward, and low-tech in comparison.
Monkey's paw finger curls
You're in the Star Trek universe! Right after the Burn.
Even before knowing about the ~~Burn~~ nuclear war in the lore, I always think we humans will annihilate ourselves first before coming into a utopia. It is a pattern in human history that things will always get worse before it becomes better. Humans are emotional and angry creatures. We always need catharsis.
Edit: everybody can tell I don't really watch Star Trek, as I mistook the Burn as Earth's nuclear war lol.
I don't think we're capable of a utopia on a large scale. Not unless our fundamental nature is altered, anyway.
Which is a good thing, perfection is subjective and humans could never buld a Utopia for the same reason ants could build one.
It's not necessary to lose individuality like the Borg to have a utopia. The selfish nature that we needed to survive needs to be toned down.
You want to play a game with me not realizing that I am going to construct the board from your bones.
It does come with the caveat that you're not in TOS whilst wearing a red shirt, or DS9 and called O'Brian
Send me to the elder scrolls just after the Warp in the West stops making time fucky, by the time anything interesting happens I should be set up to comfortably avoid it. I'll just stay the fuck away from Morrowind and find a nice defensive city during the Oblivion Crisis, guess id bunker down in Winterhold since it would still be packed with mages.
Think of the power consumption needed to power holodecks 24/7 so nerds can fuck wood elves or whatever their kink is.
Shit, I'll take Mordor at this point
At least Sauron owns being evil.
Also the Culture, Star Trek on ultra steroids.
Somehow, Palpatine escaped the holodeck...
My boring dayjob is to sit in front of the holodeck and shoot anything weird that comes out.
You mean Moriarty
Oh no, did the holodeck break and turn all the holograms real and evil? That's the second time this stardate
Ok, new TNG plot idea - to provoke war with the Klingon Empire, Romulan hackers infiltrate the Federation's central update servers, programming Klingon commandos to pour out of holodecks all over the fleet, take over vessels, and attack Earth. The Enterprise is spared because Wesley disabled auto-update to troubleshoot the Moriarty problem and forgot to turn it back on.
Better than section 31.
Obligatory "shut up Westley"
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It's all fun and games until they literally atomize your entire body, assemble totally different atoms in a totally different place so they take on your former shape and call that "beaming."
I really appreciate the direction Enterprise took with this. The whole crew was just terrified to use the damn thing. To be fair, it was new and relatively unproven technology, but the same central "just let the computer atomize you what could go wrong" flaw holds.
$0.02: It was great foreshadowing from episode 1 that they're gonna need it to get out of jam, and it's not guaranteed to even work. But the writers undid all that by letting the crew overcome technological and scientific inferiority way too fast. They could have made something far more compelling by having a crew that could make a go of it with zero conveniences. The show run could have ended with giving way to the next generation of explorers, who now have far more advanced tech than the NX-01 ever had; a much more compelling arc, IMO. It also robs T'pol of some of the gravity behind choosing to do something so reckless as to cruise the quadrant under such dangerous circumstances.
The problem with Enterprise is that it was kind sold as Star Trek before the transporters, before the shields, before the replicators, etc., but what we got instead was:
- ~~Transporters~~ Transporters, but only if we really need to.
- ~~Raise the shields~~ Polarise the hull plating.
- ~~Replicator~~ Protein resequencer.
- ~~Tractor beam~~ Grappling hook.
They didn't actually write a story about what it was like without these things, just what it was like with slightly shittier versions of these things.
Enterprise doesn't get a lot of love, but I really enjoyed it and was sad when it got cut short.
Agree, that was well thought out. Also I loved how Toshi got a jarring feeling when the ship went into warp and it gave her the heebie jeebies. It totally made sense that some people would be aware of that, especially somebody whose "different" brain workings enabled her to parse meaning out of unfamiliar languages.
I thought they should have also made the Vulcan mind meld mysterious and weird at first - it's been so long I don't remember how they handled that, but in my own ideas for a retro series before Enterprise came out I thought the Vulcans would sort of keep the mind meld private and personal. The first time it would be used in an episode - reluctantly, in an emergency - it would really spook the crew. They would wonder, "Can they read our minds? Are they controlling us?" It would create a lot of tension and the Vulcans would have to rebuild trust.
Better than traffic
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This reminds me of "You find yourself in your favorite fictional universe, what would you do first?"
On one end of the spectrum is Star Trek.
On the other end, Warhammer 40K.
Well, except for the Borg and all that stuff.
I think I would want one where there was no big bad.
Nah, bullshit. I'm living next door to Bluey and having a couple of tinnies with Bandit.
You and me both, brother. My son loves Bluey meanwhile I'm just jealous at their level of patience for all of the girls' shenanigans.
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With the assumption I can choose who I am, I would argue that Banks' Culture would be my choice. The Culture as a whole is much less vulnerable due to its size and scale and their technology is more advanced. Want cool space adventures? Join Contact or just go travel around in another civilization. Magic adventures? The sleep games and VR is like holodecks but on steroids. Want to live forever? No problem (although it's frowned upon).
Love the Culture. Also, transgenderism is amateur hour. Let's get to trans-humanism. Fuck 'no wrong way to have a body'; I don't want a body at all.
Don't forget the ability to switch sex/gender freely. I think in Player of Games there is one person known for switching to female and having a kid every ten years or so. Having lots of kids also frowned upon.
Listen, if Bashir can casually turn Sisko into a klingon in an afternoon, outpatient, I'm pretty sure ~~becoming my fursona~~ gender transition is nbd
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