this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
464 points (97.3% liked)

Not The Onion

16308 readers
624 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ulterno@programming.dev 7 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

I originally thought ~~gym~~jim and protein but...

traditions dating back centuries

So, slavery and rape?

[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 11 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

I know at least few Russian-speaking people where I live (Kraków) who tried to convert me to their church. One Uber (or Bolt idk) driver, when I told him that I am interested in practicing Russian and Ukrainian wanted me to come to some church to read a Bible or something, and other time one friend of mine wanted me to come to (I think) Orthodox church to meet some women or something like that.

I think I make an error, when I tell people I am agnostic, it's like a sign for other people to try convert me, and I don't really want to argue with them.

[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 1 day ago

I, for one, would like to congratulate whoever conceived this psy-op to get conservatives to move from Texas to Russia. Inspired stuff.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So, all these "manly" men need a fluffer to make them more "manly"?

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

I find the obsession with being super manly that some types have to be highly suspicious. Seems they are either very insecure or seeking manliness out of a closeted gay urge. Because it's just not the kind of thing you need to go get help with. Performant manliness is still a performance.

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Says the man in the nun outfit

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Can you really say you're the manliest men if you're not comfortable wearing women's clothing?

[–] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 6 points 19 hours ago

Yeah, a lot of this "manliness" sure sounds a lot like just having a great deal of things to worry about emasculating you.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Can't judge by that - Rasputin wore the same outfit and he was a legendary horndog.

[–] rayyy@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago (3 children)

IF you can be shamed into going a Russian church to be manly, you are headed in the opposite direction from the path to manliness - you become a pussy who can only follow.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

So then it's womanly to follow? Sounds sexist and lame to me.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 84 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Pro tip: if you're worried about your manliness you should go to therapy not to church.

[–] bassad@jlai.lu 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Church is (almost) free therapy though, problem is that some church leaders want to use believers for their own benefit

[–] fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 3 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Most organized religion is psychological abuse

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 1 day ago

"Convert Theodore" looks a hell lot like the hat-tipping M'lady mister

Almost all the converts I meet have opted to home-school their offspring, partly because they believe women should prioritise their families rather than their careers.

Welp, that alone says a lot.

Father Moses says Orthodoxy is "not masculine, it is just normal", while "in the West everything has become very feminised".

Hahahaha, no. The only normal is humans wanting to form groups with like-minded people and, sometimes, making that group appear very different from another group, aka schismogenesis - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schismogenesis

Some - in America and other countries - see Russia as the last bastion of true Christianity

Eeehh, given that the orthodox christians are likely closer to the root christianity than the western christians, that is not "too wrong" to assume, I guess. Then again, the orthodox did hunt down several "heretical" christians, some of which likely were "more christian" than them.

[–] theacharnian@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago

Very interesting, but also very lazy reporting. They didn't ask Ukrainian-American Orthodox for example what they think. Ciril's "holy war" screetches are insane, when Ukraine is also an Orthodox country.

There are thousands upon thousands of Orthodox Christians in the US, yet the only non-Russian-aligned perspective in the whole article is this:

Elissa Bjeletich Davis, a former Protestant who now belongs to the Greek Orthodox Church in Austin, is a Sunday school teacher and has her own podcast. She says many converts belong to "the anti-woke crowd" and sometimes have strange ideas about their new faith - especially those in the Russian Church. "They see it as a military, rigid, disciplinary, masculine, authoritarian religion," Elissa says. "It's kind of funny. It's almost as if the old American Puritans and their craziness is resurfacing."

(RIP Elissa's inbox btw)

It's annoying to see the crazies monopolize the report. This is also American Orthodoxy:

[–] nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 71 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Watching gay porn is twice as manly as watching straight porn.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 33 points 1 day ago

Nothing gayer than having sex with women.

  • various right winged influencers
[–] forwhomthecattolls@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm actually double straight because I was straight when I was supposedly a guy and now I'm a woman and still straight. checkmate, low T beta cucks bad to the bone guitar riff

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] pinheadednightmare@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I hope they are all dumb enough to move there for it.

Don't dump your toxic waste there, they will just end on the battlefield being a headache for ukrainians. But if you do, the US could make that up with loads of depleted uranium rounds for ukraine - that doubles the amount of waste you can get rid of, and since the russians increasingly send their troops out with old ladas instead of tanks and body armor, the DU ammo is more useful.

[–] Zess@lemmy.world 41 points 1 day ago

If you have to be told how to be "manly" then you ~~probably~~ definitely aren't whatever the fuck you even think "manly" is.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 14 points 1 day ago

He looks like he would be handy on a trip through Ravenholm.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago
[–] rottingleaf@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've heard that Russian Orthodox churches in the USA are not what they are in Russia, and are actually fine because of being removed from the hierarchy and kinda marginal, but, eh, manliness is anyway not what Christianity is generally about.

And "traditions" are no more ancient than in a Catholic church they can find or an Assyrian or an Armenian one.

Anyway, those stereotypes. Russians are very masculine to be a country whose economy mainly consists of selling oil and gas and other resources, some tech sector due to remnants of Soviet education and building nuclear stations. With prison population rivaling that of the USA. That's an "/s".

EDIT: And the article author knows about Oriental Orthodox and Eastern Orthodox being different things, but misses the clue and thinks they are variations of the same. Eastern Orthodox and Catholic are united by being, as it's sometimes called, Chalcedonean Christianity. Oriental Orthodox is all that split at that point, but not earlier.

[–] Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago (8 children)

JFC if someone is this worried about their "manliness" or lack thereof, there's really no hope for them.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 day ago

Are you talking about me? How do you know? It's pure rumors anyway! I'm extremely manly, OK? My car makes a lot of noise, so yeah. I'm heterosexual btw

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Not_mikey@slrpnk.net 59 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (12 children)

This wispy-bearded Texan is in the vanguard of a movement urging conservatives to relocate to Russia. Last August, Putin introduced fast-track shared values visa for those fleeing Western liberalism.

Oh no ... don't do that. Us lefties would hate if all our manly men left us to deal with these Haitians eating our dogs alone. That would trigger and own us so much.

Imagine being deranged enough to actually take that deal, damn

load more comments (11 replies)
[–] Taco2112@lemmy.world 110 points 2 days ago (29 children)

I feel bad for the men that get indoctrinated by this guy. Just like a lot of people that get taken in by religion, these people are looking for some understanding or change that really can only come from within but the church is promising that religion is the only way.

These men don’t understand that there is no black and white/ universal version of “manliness”. We all have to decide for ourselves what “being a man” means.

I go with a simple definition: as someone who was born a man and continues to identify as a man, my feeling is that, anything I do is “manly” because I am a man. Doesn’t matter if it’s sewing, hunting, or eating soup (which the preacher in the article seems to think is not manly)

load more comments (29 replies)

it's funny how I'm the boogeyman for all these supposedly manly men.

load more comments
view more: next ›