this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 163 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Time zones? What, like I step over a line on the ground and I'm in the future? Pfffft.

[–] [email protected] 119 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It's so much worse than that. The people in the GMT +13 time zone had 19 hours to warn us about 9/11 in 2001, and they did nothing!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

New Zealand... We demand you tell us what the future is like.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'm sorry for the bad news, but it's terrible in the future. Just like every other day

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

You joke, but if the US had done that for COVID, things would have been a lot better. Sure, it's the right answer for the wrong reasons, but it wouldn't be a change for the worse compared to the current methods.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Well yeah, they're all old and forgetful. They could come West and be younger but they don't care. They're old.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If you go to the North pole and run around in circles you can easily get years into the past.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

That's a common misconception. Magnetic north declination from geographic north increases to its maximum as one approaches the geographic north pole (by definition). Yes, technically, your geographic time may reverse by years, but the increase in magnetic time, being equal and opposite, will effectively cancel out that effect.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This kind of troll science is the caliber that makes actual conspiracies form when stupid people read it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sir, you have a dizzying intellect.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks! I just thought it was from drinking.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Sure but you forgot one thing. Gravity.

Gravity pulls down, so when you go towards the North Pole you are actually getting further from gravity and that lesser force still pushes the entire effect into the positive. If you tried this in the south pole you would actually get older!

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

Wouldn't they get younger more quickly if they moved east across the much-shorter distance to the international date line?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is far too technical. Are you one of those "scientists" I hear about? :)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

I did done a science or two in my time, but I ain't no scientist.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

“The Island of the Day Before” vibes

[–] [email protected] 93 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Even flat earthers accept that there are time zones. Fancy being even dumber than them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Wait what? How does that work then? Now I need to look what kind of brain twisting logic they employ to combine a flat earth with time zones.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Sun still only illuminates part of the disk at a time. It doesn't go below the disk at night, it's still above the disk just too far away to see, so you get different times of day in different parts of the world.

Yes, this just raises more questions. Yes they have answers for them. None of them are good and very few of them are even internally consistent, let alone hold up to any scrutiny.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks for trying to explain it to me. But as you said, that whole thing just raises more questions.

Light speed seems to be rather slow for them, similar to their brains.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I used to work with one. The notion is that the sun travels in essentially a circle above the earth-disk and is also much smaller and much closer than you've been led to believe. They believe that the world actually is exactly as it looks in an azimuthal equidistant projection centered on the North Pole, and that it being what the world really looks like is why that's the map on the UN logo. Antarctica is essentially the rim of the world and what keeps the ocean from pouring over the edge of the disk, like the rim of a giant bowl.

You dig deep enough and you learn that they also don't believe in gravity (because if gravity was real then it would tend to pull people nearer the edge of the disk at a deeper slant relative to the surface). It's just that the Earth-disk is accelerating upwards through the void at 9.8 m/s^2.

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Twenty dollars is twenty dollars.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

According to that logic, $2 would be $2 and that's insane!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But by that logic, $three would be = 3 dollars.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

But by that logic

bash: three: command not found

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Isn't it just the best?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I think he's using csh.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Why is there never an English pedant around to weigh in on these things when we actually want one?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

...and from The South

Comes a tale of a mister

Who brought his soul to a glory hole

And encountered the mouth of his sister

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

A hole is the goal

[–] [email protected] 71 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Don't embarrass yourself any further.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

I like to think I would be that funny if I was pretending to be dumb.

We can dream.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Most people think time is like a river that flows swift and sure in one direction, but I have seen the face of time and I can tell you, they are wrong. Time is an ocean in a storm.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

That explains a lot. It turns out I'm not depressed. I just have temporal sea sickness.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff

Yes I've seen this referenced in several theoretical physics papers. Fascinating stuff. Really makes you think.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Physician what?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

It's where children go when they misbehave.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Even without time zones, 5am is an hour from the end of my work night. I'm absolutely sitting around on my phone at that point. I just looked at the clock and it's 5:02am, so it legit would have been 5 on the dot when I saw this.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago

5am is a time where you could still be awake, doomscrollingly trying to finally sleep

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

It’s 5 AM somewhere… I need a drink

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

“How would you have felt yesterday if you hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch?”

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