Time zones? What, like I step over a line on the ground and I'm in the future? Pfffft.
this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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It's so much worse than that. The people in the GMT +13 time zone had 19 hours to warn us about 9/11 in 2001, and they did nothing!
New Zealand... We demand you tell us what the future is like.
You joke, but if the US had done that for COVID, things would have been a lot better. Sure, it's the right answer for the wrong reasons, but it wouldn't be a change for the worse compared to the current methods.
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Well yeah, they're all old and forgetful. They could come West and be younger but they don't care. They're old.
If you go to the North pole and run around in circles you can easily get years into the past.
That's a common misconception. Magnetic north declination from geographic north increases to its maximum as one approaches the geographic north pole (by definition). Yes, technically, your geographic time may reverse by years, but the increase in magnetic time, being equal and opposite, will effectively cancel out that effect.
Sure but you forgot one thing. Gravity.
Gravity pulls down, so when you go towards the North Pole you are actually getting further from gravity and that lesser force still pushes the entire effect into the positive. If you tried this in the south pole you would actually get older!
It would if the earth were a perfect sphere, but in reality, it's an oblate sphereoid. This means that an observer actually gets closer to the center of gravity as one approaches a pole.
Maybe. But everyone knows gravity pulls "down" and not "towards the center of the oblate spheroid" (nonsense word made up by """mathematicians""" to make us look like fools)
This kind of troll science is the caliber that makes actual conspiracies form when stupid people read it.
Thank you. I'm sorry.
Sir, you have a dizzying intellect.
Thanks! I just thought it was from drinking.
Wouldn't they get younger more quickly if they moved east across the much-shorter distance to the international date line?
Some say that if you go to the international date line and climb over the map's edge, you'll find the secret fifth Carmel Tunnel that will take you straight to Big Math HQ. They won't let you go there easily.
Have you considered starting a cult? I feel like you might do well.
I just need to look up a few Bible quotes out of context, make up a few math equations, put up a not at all suspicious link and an oddly specific location in the middle of nowhere, and then I'm all set.
Well, I'm sold. Just give me the details. Have you decided on a title for yourself?
Just got the Bible verses of 1:6 and 1:7 for a source of one, I also just drew a map.
Big Math Co. is in there somewhere.
I have not decided on a title for myself yet, although I'm sure I can just take a name from the Bible again. Now I just need to get all those people...
How about "shepherd?" That'll also help you wrangle some followers
Sounds like a nice name, Thanks!
This is far too technical. Are you one of those "scientists" I hear about? :)
I did done a science or two in my time, but I ain't no scientist.
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Even flat earthers accept that there are time zones. Fancy being even dumber than them.
Wait what? How does that work then? Now I need to look what kind of brain twisting logic they employ to combine a flat earth with time zones.
I used to work with one. The notion is that the sun travels in essentially a circle above the earth-disk and is also much smaller and much closer than you've been led to believe. They believe that the world actually is exactly as it looks in an azimuthal equidistant projection centered on the North Pole, and that it being what the world really looks like is why that's the map on the UN logo. Antarctica is essentially the rim of the world and what keeps the ocean from pouring over the edge of the disk, like the rim of a giant bowl.
You dig deep enough and you learn that they also don't believe in gravity (because if gravity was real then it would tend to pull people nearer the edge of the disk at a deeper slant relative to the surface). It's just that the Earth-disk is accelerating upwards through the void at 9.8 m/s^2.
The earth accelerating upwards wouldn't negate the effects of gravity though. So they actually don't believe in the concept of gravity at all?
So what keeps the sun and moon and all the planets from crashing into the Earth then?
When I previously wrote that if you get deep enough into it they don't believe in gravity, I meant that. No gravity, what you and I call gravity is a consequence of everything accelerating upwards at 9.8 m/s^2 causing a downward force exerted on everything. The sun and moon are also accelerating at the same speed (the entire firmament and its contents are). I have no idea about the other planets, but it's probably something equally dumb.
The Sun still only illuminates part of the disk at a time. It doesn't go below the disk at night, it's still above the disk just too far away to see, so you get different times of day in different parts of the world.
Yes, this just raises more questions. Yes they have answers for them. None of them are good and very few of them are even internally consistent, let alone hold up to any scrutiny.
Thanks for trying to explain it to me. But as you said, that whole thing just raises more questions.
Light speed seems to be rather slow for them, similar to their brains.
Don't embarrass yourself any further.
I like to think I would be that funny if I was pretending to be dumb.
We can dream.
Twenty dollars is twenty dollars.
A mouth's a mouth.
...and from The South
Comes a tale of a mister
Who brought his soul to a glory hole
And encountered the mouth of his sister
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"What are timezones?"
People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.
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Even without time zones, 5am is an hour from the end of my work night. I'm absolutely sitting around on my phone at that point. I just looked at the clock and it's 5:02am, so it legit would have been 5 on the dot when I saw this.
I used to work the night shift and would often post things at 2:00 a.m. and get a bunch of Australians responding.
That's the same time my alarm rings
5am is a time where you could still be awake, doomscrollingly trying to finally sleep
It’s 5 AM somewhere… I need a drink