this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2026
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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He could walk on water, does that give a lower limit on mass?
We can begin to extrapolate further. Broke bread, walked on water, ascended.
Christ was a duck.
Presumably hollow limbs that he could fit fish and bread into, and at least some kind of capillary network infused with some form of alcohol
No that was magic. He also applied the water walking buff on one of his friends, who then right-clicked the buff off and found out he can't swim
Well then, how can we be sure he didnโt just cast the donkey riding spell?
I checked the shaman's spellbook and they don't have that spell, only Paladins have that
Edit: to clarify, I believe Jesus was a shaman because he could walk on water, resurrect from death (ankh), and as a carpenter he was probably well capable of crafting totems. There's also documented cases of him going melee combat (with tables, mostly) and healing others too
The food trick implies that he had a friendly mage though conjuring food, though he took the credit for himself
jesus is famously a warlock, what with the getting his power from a patron deity thing.
But then he was also descended from said deity, so celestial-bloodline sorcerer would also make sense?
And through weird extradimensional time shenanigans he is also said deity? I don't understand it myself, but I'm told it makes sense in 12 dimensions.
He was also briefly undead, likely a revenant given the unfinished business.
All of this depends on the edition of the lore you read though. In the beginning he was probably just a warlock multiclassing in cleric, then a supplemental edition has him ascend to demi-god status, which was later ruled actual divinity by a local authority once the franchise changed hands. Later, some of it was retconned and toned down for being too OP in another rulebook, but famously that rulebook wasn't very well accepted even though a sizeable playerbase still exists.
There are later editions where the pathway to divinity is laid out and Jesus is one of many gods, but that rulebook is still considered niche despite some disproportionate influence.
so you're saying lich
It's a bard spell.
I'd say an upper limit on his density, if anything.
Ha or maybe he was as light as a water strider.
maybe he was three swarms of bees in a trenchcoat
Isn't it said that he's made of light? If he was made of photons, would he even have mass? Tho he might be producing raduative pressure
Yeah, everyone here seems to forget magic was involved here. For all we know he could have been 12' tall and light as a feather, with retractable beard and 5 legs.