latenightnoir

Yeah, I get it, believe me... Have a similar situation on my end, with one of my oldest friends. Luckily, it's very easy for me to be her friend and keep things platonic (with the occasional mild flirty poke), so there's been little turmoil. But I did go through another one of these earlier in my life, and that one was just pure anguish. I had to distance myself from the situation after a few years...

Spoil yourself as much as you can right now, besides dampening the impact of things, it'll also serve as a reminder that you can also offer yourself care and attention.

And you can hang on to that love, but I think it needs to fit between very specific points on the intensity/complexity/whatever spectrum in order to be able to comfortably juggle being friends and keeping things in check. If you're there, you can still offer the platonic bit of that love to her. It really does sound like you've fallen hard for her and that you genuinely care about her, and genuinely loving someone for who they are can never be a bad thing. It can be friggin' uncomfortable, sure, but it's never bad to love.

First off, I am very sorry you're going through this. It does, indeed, sound like a tough and chewy time, but it's most definitely not wrong.

Secondly, everything's coming from a (moderately) cis straight guy, I really don't know how this situation would play out beyond guessing and imagining, so I apologise in advance if anything comes off as irrelevant, off-key, or even insulting.

To get on with it, the two things I know you shouldn't do right now are the following:

• Do NOT change who you are for someone else, especially not before you've even broached the subject with said person! Not only are you risking dumping yourself for something which may very well go nowhere, but you may actually dump aspects which the other person would enjoy. Always bring yourself, as you are, to the table. And always keep at least 10% of yourself for yourself.

• Do NOT get involved in anything until the divorce paperwork is signed and stamped! This is skipping a few major steps, I know, but right now everything should be off limits. It'll just end up becoming a bigger mess, believe me. Plus it wouldn't give you the best start possible, which you already kinda' have through the fact that you're very close friends by the sound of it.

What I would do, in all honesty, is nothing. At least not now, not until she finalises her divorce and has some time to grieve and recover. The best thing you could do is continue being there for her as she goes through The Suck, continue being her friend, that's more valuable than anything right now.

Afterwards, after you've also had some more time to process things, cross the t's and dot the i's, so to speak, you should consider having a talk about it with her. Present your side of things, explain it as best as you can, try to frame it all as "here's where I am, this is what is happening to me." It'll probably be a lot to process for her (or maybe not, but those odds are not worth the bet), so try to put as little pressure on her as possible.

It may make things awkward between you for a while, it may even lead to the dissolution of the friendship. If the latter happens, well... maybe that friendship has reached its natural end. If the former happens and you are absolutely certain you can play The Friend while pining for The Lover's role, then business as usual - be there for her as and when she needs it, give her space to come to terms with the new data, and see where things go.

But, again, no changing who you are! Seriously! As long as you don't have profoundly toxic and/or damaging behaviours (which are a whole different conversation), you should never give yourself up for somebody else! Dating hollow flesh defeats the purpose.

Dunno where I saw/read about invul frames, it was pretty soon after ER launched, so I'm not taking it as the truth, either. I still feel that something about the dodge itself is different, but with the amount of delays and long wind-ups to enemy attacks it's hard to tell. Sometimes I (think I) dodge right as the swing starts, and I'm at the other end of the arena by the time it lands. Other times, I (think I) dodge as the swing starts, and end up stunned and eating a second hit as well... Which is ok, because only the Mimic Tear managed to kill me so far (got overconfident first time at it, it ended up doing more damage per hit to me than I did to it).

Edit: either way, I'm 99% certain there's no input lag (at least under optimal conditions, it's not default to the game itself), I tested it extensively with other actions, and none feel as finicky as dodge timings. Heck, the akimbo Bloodhound's Fang slam attack staggers armored war horses, I don't really dodge anymore:))

It does have very different dynamics for enemy attacks. A lot more fake starts for attacks, like an extra jerk of the arm, a feigning slash, and I think the tracking is a lot more intense than in previous titles. To me, it feels like tracking stops only at the moment when the actual attack move begins.

Plus I think the dodge animation has a few wind-up frames which aren't affected by invul frames, making timing even wonkier.

Edit: may be completely wrong.

Which snap apart the instant you try to carry more than a laptop and some chocolate wrappers with'em...

"What the hell is this?? The invul frames in ER are bullshit! No, YOU're slow, this is clearly input lag!" - me a couple of years ago

I started celebrating two days ago, I'm down to slightly burnt toast to settle things...

Thanks so much!

No problem with the translation, can handle those myself, thankfully. Can even handle some minor editing if needed.

Funnily enough, my life is falling apart in just the right way to allow me to involve myself in stuff like this, so yes! If nothing else, I'll stockpile and reach out to some old connections, spread them around.

Agreed, but I'm thinking of the people who aren't fully digital, which make up a large portion of the population (at least here in Romania).

The nice Auntie next door who barely watches anything on TV beyond the evening news and folk music shows most likely won't catch word of this unless I tell her about it (and if she will, she probably won't really get it). And I am absolutely certain she'd love chatting about groceries for a while!

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Edit: seriously?!

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