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this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
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I honestly thought this was The Onion.
We're at the point where it's necessary to check the source for everything, because it's a 50/50 chance that any of this shit is satire.
It was 50/50 about a year ago--feels much closer to 90/10 now if you ask me
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.<-- You are here
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it
So predictable.
It's literally one of the Signal texts to blame Biden.
Thanks Obama.
Obamna*
.... in the tenth decade of the MAGA Empire, a new political catastrophe occurs .... as in previous occasions, Biden was again blamed for these problems.
In the year six thousand and eighty eight since the flood the Free People wondered if they’d lived suitably MAGA to be redeemed from eternity in the domain of Biden, Lord of Evil.
Holy fuck. Because for some fucking reason, the goddamned director of the fucking central intelligence agency doesn’t fucking know that just because you’re able doesn’t mean you should.
Never fucking mind also apparently just not fucking knowing about the JWICS that’s designed for this exact motherfucking purpose.
The "feature" they are looking for is that it deletes itself, despite that also being illegal. They don't want records of anything to last because when you are doing illegal stuff, records come back to bite you eventually.
They are using exactly the right app for the features they want.
The real app they are supposed to be using archives it like everything is legally supposed to be handled. For the express purpose of accountability and eventual transparency.
Never fucking mind also apparently just not fucking knowing about the JWICS that’s designed for this exact motherfucking purpose.
They see that as waste.
"Why do we need to spend all this money on custom coms gear, software, and standards when an off-the-shelf mobile phone bought from a rando retailer with unknown supply chain (likely manufactured in an adversarial country) and using a commercial app not vetted for sensitive government use is cheaper?"
The supply chain comment makes me wonder if they might need new pagers soon.
I can't remember the last time a reporter accidentally got on a jwics message chain.
Holy fuck. Because for some fucking reason, the goddamned director of the fucking central intelligence agency doesn’t fucking know that just because you’re able doesn’t mean you should.
Never fucking mind also apparently just not fucking knowing about the JWICS that’s designed for this exact motherfucking purpose.
'Fuck' count: 7
(Sorry, couldn't resist. 😋 😇 I get your anger though; agree.)
~This~ ~comment~ ~is~ ~licensed~ ~under~ ~CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0~
Ha ha ha. Biden he does everything!
Biden even managed to set up the stock market to only crash when Trump says the word tariff.
It is the 41st Millennium.
For more than a hundred centuries Donald Trump, the Emperor of America, has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Washington. He is the master of the US by the will of the nutjobs and master of a million tariffs by the might of his moronic followers. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Generative AI. He is the MAGA Lord of the vast Imperium of America for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day so that he may never truly die.
Yet even in his deathless state, everything is still Joe Biden's fault.
Did Biden explicitly prohibit drinking bleach and eating rusty nails? Because if not, go right ahead you incompetent fucking morons, bon appetit!
Why are they still doing what Biden says, didn't he retire? Are they just following the orders of some random citizen? This just keeps getting worse.
“We were not allowed to have any messaging apps on our work phones,” said one former top national security official on the condition of anonymity. “And under no circumstances were unclassified messaging apps allowed to be used for transmission of classified material. This is misdirection at its worst.”
So not dei or Obama’s fault?
nono, it's still those things too
Signal wasn't considered a problem until that idiot couldn't be bothered to read what was on his phone screen
Biden strikes again.
If that leak wasn't on purpose these asshats are sub forest gump stupid. They stupid and they does.
Why does Kash always look mid-shart?
Look at ol' Lumpy Farts Kash
It was actually discussed years ago on Clinton's email server. I remember.
Fuckin rights, Biden is also the cause of climate change, and my itchy asshole. Definitely nothing to do with forgetting to wipe.
What a fucking idiot! And she is heading CIA?
Rent free in Mar-a-Lago
3 terms ago? Why would he even say such a thing...
Bwahahahaha
See, Biden stole the election right under our noses, even he didn’t know!