does that count as doping?
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2026
206 points (100.0% liked)
Not The Onion
22502 readers
947 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
no, if the croc gets to you first.
That's sure to cause a....row! ^I'll see myself out^
Ehm, Olympic and Paralympic rowing… is the plan that the race will start as Olympic and finish as Paralympic?
(Sorry)
Your hilarious comment caused me to almost splurt my morning coffee. Thanks for the laugh. Moreover, the carnivorous fish species with razor-sharp teeth whose name is in your alias makes your point even more appropriate. LOL
More motivation to row and you people are complaining?
They should add white water rafting and the 100m gold metal breast stroke to the same river.
Yeah, I bet we'll be seeing records broken left and right.
We'll see more broken things than records ..
Good thing the Paralympics are after the Olympics.
You guys laugh, but this is the safest river in all of Australia.
The runners up had piranhas, crocodile dundee and irukandji jellyfish.
Ok but Crocodile Dundee was a person.
He's in there, waiting. With a knife.
And piranhas are native to the Americas
So are rabbits... and yet, this video was taken not 4 days ago in the mountains of Australia:
Fucking bullshit,
There's no crocs in Brisbane.
Come do it in the Sputh Alligator or the Adelaide River that will get everyone rowing hard
Edit: Upon reading the article it's Rockhampton so it's plausible.
The bigger issue appears to be the distance from Brisbane city itself.
Still crocs down there are so rare you're more likely to be done in by a shark.
Let's have articles saying world surfing championship to be hosted in shark infested ocean
Are they afraid that someone will be eaten by a croc or that someone will kill 500 crocs in order to organize a sport event?
I think they don't want to pull the crowds away from the main events so they find something to push back against it
There are no crocodiles in that Brisbane river? Then I wonder why the article stated there are 500 crocodiles living in that Brisbane river?
That river isn't in Brisbane.
But beyond that unless you're in Northern qld there are next to no crocs
Not just crocs, fucking Australian salt water crocs.
This might be worth watching.
Oh man, I'm not gonna miss this one... This is gonna be ~~a bloodbath~~ one heck of a display of athleticism.
"one heck of a display of athleticism."
Hopefully from both humans and crocodiles.
The comedy of this story aside, as a resident of inner-city Brisbane, I am so dreading the fucking Olympics coming here. They haven't even started building the stadium at Victoria Park yet, never mind the fact that it's a stupid site for it in the first place.
It's really stupid that the Olympics don't just rotate between the cities that have held them before. The Olympics were in Sydney in 2000, a lot of the infrastructure to support it should be still there, so just do it there again.
Or just hold them in Athens where it originated, or better yet, abolish them altogether.
From The Doubter's Companion: The Dictionary of Aggressive Common Sense:
OLYMPIC IDEAL The Greek games began in 776 BC as a competition among amateur athletes from the different city - states. The purpose was to bring the citizens of the rival cities together in an apolitical gathering, which would reduce squabbling and develop a larger sense of community.
The rising merchant class in those cities subsequently inverted their purpose by introducing the idea of city rivalry into the games. The city - states then began subsidizing their athletes indirectly and often invisibly. The amateur athletes were soon living a parody of amateurism. They had careers and future income riding on the competition. Winners became heroes, that is to say political heroes. They were fed at the cost of the state for the rest of their lives.
Subtle corruption gradually turned into rank dishonesty. Athletes were eventually bribed to lose. In AD 394 the games were abolished because they had become a parody of the amateur idea, a focus of corruption and a source of political rivalry.
The Olympic Games were re - established in 1896 as a competition among amateur athletes. One of the purposes was to bring citizens of rival countries together in an apolitical gathering. What the Greeks managed to do in 1,170 years, we have done in less than 100.
Well at least the rowing won't be anywhere near you.
I'm so, so glad my home town of Hamburg, Germany, rejected the idea of applying for the Olympic circus in a public vote.
Don't need the billionaires shit show to clog up and uglify my city. We already achieve that by ourselves.
Yeah, it seems like Brisbane is turning this into an infrastructure Olympics without a clear plan on what it should look like.
How often do rowing teams actually end up in the water? It's pretty rare, I think.
I wonder if aquatic creatures get upset & violently retaliatory when they're swatted by paddling oars?
A river that is home to about 500 saltwater crocodiles has been given the OK to host Olympic and Paralympic rowing and canoeing events at the 2032 Brisbane Games.
Oh well that's OK then. If they're saltwater crocodiles, there shouldn't be any swans in the water.
Just row around them, sounds like a skill issue /j
Well someone's gotta feed them..
LOOKS LIKE LEAN BEEFCAKE IS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS
it's not doping if natural adrenaline
Damn. They'll do ANYTHING during sweeps week!
I'd sign up for life insurance if I were them
They are just hoping for new world records. Imagine how motivating it would be if you had to escape a crocodile...
i guess they're hoping the climate shifts enough to get these guys to move into a city housing block?
🎶 Row faster, boooooy🎶
Are they doing the triathlon there too?
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, whoa, I think my dinghy hanging out.
Nothing can go wrong with this plan!
