this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fake. I ain't using a whole utensils and plate for onion. God gave us two hands: one for onion, one for Jack and jack-based activities.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

One for Jack-on, one for Jack-off. It only makes sense.

[–] No_Eponym@lemmy.ca 42 points 5 days ago
[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That's it. I'm done. I'm transitioning. I refuse to support this. Good luck to you all.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

You don't want to support it, you want to experience it first hand? Is that it?

[–] laz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago

Pretty close we make a dish out of roasted onions to have drinks with from where I come from

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 32 points 5 days ago (8 children)

... but what's the onion for? 🤔

[–] Archimedes@sh.itjust.works 36 points 5 days ago

To cleanse the palette of that terrible whiskey

[–] Damarus@feddit.org 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago (2 children)

So we can blame the tears on something other than our crippling regret and or loneliness

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 days ago

Im not crying, Iv been chopping onions. Im making a lasagna.... for one.

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[–] Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 5 days ago

To explain why does a single man drink and cry.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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Providing satirical news articles

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[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I left two onions and four apples at the self-checkout yesterday after paying for them. Just forgot to put the bag in the cart. They could easily credit my account having been informed by the next customer, but no, they won't. They'll put them back on the shelf and sell them again.

[–] InGodWeThrust@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Lesson learned, only buy booze from now on

[–] square@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

It pisses me off you can't get booze at the self checkout. They have an attendant there for problems. Would it really be so hard for them to come over and check an ID? But no, I've got to go stand in the one manned line they have open for 20 minutes instead of being out of there in 2 minutes.

Edit: I have just learned this is a California problem. Other places may not have to put up with this.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago

What you've described is what happens here in Georgia.

But we can only buy beer and wine in a supermarket, liquor, spirits etc have to be bought in a separate location, and you can't buy alcohol before noon on Sundays.

All of which is that classic small government freedom you expect from a red state.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 2 points 3 days ago

I'm in a state where you can buy weaker alcohols (under 22%) at the self checkout. But many times I have waited over 10 minutes for someone to come over and check my ID. Just standing there with the orange light flashing and there are four other orange lights flashing and the self checkout line isn't moving at all.

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[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is boy dinner because a man would spend the money on good whiskey, and at least have a protein to go with the veg side dish.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

You know, Jack might be fun to shit on, but a wise man once told me the best whiskey is the one you like to drink!

Good point tho, next post will have protein

[–] Hansae@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I hate JD neat and im a massive Scotch snob but nothing beats a double JD and coke, will happily hammer those all day

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[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

My favorite beer is free. Second favorite is cold.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 22 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Put that onion in a pan in a medium oven, just like that, for an hour or so depending on how big it is, then peel it and add some salt.

Yum.

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 19 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Tried this once after townsends (cooking yt channel that makes old timey food) said that it was really easy and good. Was easy. Was also terrible, do not recommend. Can bake a potato for exactly the same effort and get something 10 times better.

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[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 days ago (11 children)

Jack Daniels? Disgusting. Get some proper whiskey instead. I prefer the onion fried, with some fries, and a chunk of cheese. Real cheese though.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Amen, brother. Jack is the Walmart MacDonald's of brown liquor. I would rather drink mystery booze from a water bottle distilled by a guy with no teeth in his Mom's back yard.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

That's Todd. Did he make the apple pie or the straight sugar liquor this batch?

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)
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[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 3 days ago

You know, seeing all the complaints about the IOC and the onion not being cooked... The only thing bothering me is that the utensils aren't on either side of the plate.

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Nah, if it really was boy dinner it would be paper plates and plastic utensils. And definitely no place mats

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[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (4 children)

The fork is the part that bothers me the most. So much handle, so little tine.

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[–] nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 5 days ago (5 children)
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[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 days ago

Im a Jim man myself, but to each their own.

[–] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 8 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I love how men just make fun of themselves and admit they are incompetent at surviving with any decent quality of life without a "woman" in the kitchen.

I consider myself fucking shit at cooking compared to my mum but God damn people it's not that difficult.

[–] boonhet@lemmy.zip 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Do check what community this post is in

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

Wouldn't be Lemmy without someone going off the rails in the comments.

[–] molten@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This is OP's second account and he just wanted to flex his cooking.

Source: I made it up

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[–] krisevol@lemmus.org 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Too many carbs, switch to vodka. We are trying to live past 50 over here.

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[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)
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