Clamp your hams
Dad Jokes
Description
This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.
Rules
- Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
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The last few posts like this that have been made, the comments were filled with people who didn't get it. I'm getting ahead of that 😤
How dare you help provide context instead of mocking people who don't get it. This is the internet, non-gender-specific-sir.
Barely
Just not a good one.
crank ur hog
I TRIED TO DO WHAT IT SHOWED IN THE PICTURE BROTHER BUT NOW IM IN THE HOSPITAL WITH A VICE GRIPS LATCHED ONTO MY SWIM SUIT AREA.
AUNT GRETA ISNT GOING TO LIKE THIS ONE
AROOOOOOO
I CAN'T HEAR YOU, BROTHER! AROOOO!!!
I CRANKED MY HOG MULTIPLE TIMES TODAY BROTHER, BUT I STILL GOT MORE! ARRROOO
AH ROOO
AWOOOOOOGA
squeeze your meat
I tend to do that when I'm sad
Compress your pork
Easy there, this is a family friendly comm.
A ham press?
Secure your gammon
And you call them clamped hams despite the fact that they are obviously plated.
Vice your gammon…?
Dick in a vice?
... in a box. In a tote bag, filled with sauce!
DickoTown!
tvinga din kassler?
Kan du va själv!
If you’ll all excuse me I’m gonna go “clamp my ham” if you get what I’m sayin… winks knowingly
Pinch your polska
Screw a ham?
"Clamp your hams" is my guess.
Squeezy your charcuterie
ハムを治まる?
Clasp your Ham
..put your clamped meat loaf slice on a plate with Mediterranean design.
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