When Anon breaks up with her they will claim he was a demon sent to test their faith.
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There's only one way: Anon should simulate fainting like the mom and then explain that god told them they have to break up.
Nothing pisses religious nutjobs more than telling them that God spoke to you and said you were holier than they are.
"You guys need a priest to tell you what God wants? Why, he doesn't check in with you personally? What did you do to piss him off?"
Speak it in Latin and claim you don't know what Latin even is. Then use Google Translate like some time later and tell her.
If she ask any questions just say the usual, "God works in mysterious ways", "maybe this is a test from God like in the book of Job", or "are you questioning my faith or yours?"
I'd wake up and say "God says that he's pissed that you keep doing dangerous stuff, and expecting Him to pull your sorry asses out of the fire. He says it ends now, and you're on your own. If you pass out in the hot summer sun, you're going to die, and your constant annoyances mean that your place in heaven is not secure. He's not real thrilled about have to live in close proximity, whee you'll be dropping by every day for coffee. He thinks Satan ought be able to settle y'all down a bit. Just something to think about...oh yeah, Sweetie? We're over. Bye!"
As someone who grew up in a conservative, Baptist home, I can tell you that this 100% isn't the most insane thing I've heard or seen, but it falls right in line.
Insane how grown ass adults believe in absolute fairy tales written by the rich/kings to keep the lower classes subservient. In 2026.
I'd love to ask someone in the 1940s what they'd think of 2026. I bet they'd think we were all living on other planets and half cyborg by now. But nah. Trillionaires.
My cousin wouldn't let his daughter watch Wicked because they whisper a spell during the movie.
I literally asked "Are you fucking serious?"
The query went right by his perception of me questioning his sanity as if I was making a remark in regards to the film itself.
Yeah, man. They're everywhere.
"r-right."
My parents nearly didn't let me read or watch Harry Potter "cuz witchcraft". There is a lot of stupid out there.
"Listen, your mon had a heatstroke. This isn't a demonic attack. It's common knowledge that this happens when doing hard work in extreme heat. I can't be with someone who's family believes that demons are behind common medical conditions. In other words: your family is insane and I can't date you anymore. Bye"
I'd probably talk to the girl and see if she holds the same beliefs. She's Christian, yes, but there are plenty of people raised in such families that use the term out of familiarity, but don't share the extreme views of their parents.
Though with that said, even if the girl isn't off the deep end, I'd understand that having her parents as potential in-laws could be a bridge too far.
I remember playing this 3 day LARP, the kind with pre-written in-depth characters and story that is played over 3 days strait in characeter, in Wierd Wild West setting, where I played a Trapper that was about to marry someone from the local village, my family was married into but my parents died shortly after.
It eventually turned out that the whole village is a cult that eats people to keep some kind of evil imprisoned, and my fiance's family is the one spiritually leading it, and I still can't forget the nights spent trying to reasonably argue and discuss with my fiance that it's definitely not ok and we should just leave.
I obviously never had to have discussions like this in real life, but it was pretty interesting how extremely futile it is. They have so many arguments you can't say anything against. Once they start with "But this is our purpose given to us by God, if we don't do this the whole world will end", or "It was God's will, you will understand soon", you really don't have much to say to that to get through.
Of course, it was just a LARP and she played her character well, but now I can pretty vividly imagine that talking to someone who's so much into anything like that is extremely difficult, to the point of being futile.
(I managed to convince her to leave, the winning argument was "Your grandmother tried to poison me, here is proof", lol).
The thing with RPG worlds is, when the characters are saying these kinds of things there's a good chance that this is actually and demonstrably how that RPG world works and they're not just a bunch of grifters.
Oh, it was definitely how that world worked, and she played that role really well.
But, the experience (especially in multi-day nonstop LARPs, where you immerse into the world and your character really extensively) is pretty indistinguishable from real-life. At least in how you perceive it. For the few days, your life has these problems now. And you just accept it and get into it, and don't even consider a difference between real and "imaginary" problems. It's hard to describe, tbh.
I was not trying to imply that any of the involved people were grifters, I was mostly talking about the experience of being in a situation like that, where you have to actually talk to someone like that. I'm pretty sure that there wouldn't be much of a difference between talking to someone who can roleplay well and has spend two days in their character, vs. talking to someone who spent most of their life being indoctrinated like this.
Or rather, the problem-solving part of it. I had literal days in that world to figure out how to approach this, what to say so it would work in that situation, how to argue with her. I didn't come up with anything that would work, and things that I came up with were swiftly rebated by fanatic religious speeches. Just like she had a pretty easy time of coming up with arguments I couldn't say much against, that would still be perfectly in-character, as she told me after the LARP.
EDIT: I may have misunderstood your comment, sorry :D. Yes, you are right, it was how the world worked - we did eventually all died because some kind of evil has been awakened, lol. But that doesn't change anything about the experience of having to argue with someone who's indoctrinated in a cult vs. you, who don't believe in stuff like that. It's difficult. From my point of view, they were grifters, because I had no indication of proof of what they are saying, so I did my best to figure out what to do or say, and I couldn't come up with anything.
Everyone is going with the satanism or whatever non-Christian antics they are coming up with.
That's too easy.
Study some Bible verses and understand the tenents of the religion. Learn enough about the family to find something you can use. Then break up with her by saying her family are heretics and state that reason. Tell her they're all going to hell and close the door tight. Never talk to her again.
It schisma time!!!!!!!
Get on floor, walk the dinosaur
They don't believe in dinosaurs though.
Get on the floor, walk the demonsaur
I was once invited to a pool party by a girl back when I was a freshman at college. When I got there they were baptizing people.
There was free food though so I stuck around.
Freshmen year of college is all about maximizing the amount of free stuff you can get, especially food.
Oddly, the two super churchy women I've "been with" ended up leaving the church afterwards. Maybe OP should do a little 🫰🤌🤏 to her 🍑 and see what happens.
"I really like you, but you and your family are religiously insane so I think we should see other people. I'm gonna try to see someone with a grip on reality, and you should try to see a professional"
Any adult who believes in Magick, God, angels, or demons has growing up to do.
I didn't believe in demons until 2016 and one was elected to be president of the US.
Unfortunately we don't need demons, humans are bad enough as is.
I just asked if she really believes in all this. Answer was not really but you know, family ties and the community is nice.
Fake/gay analysis: true and straight. Source: dated religious girl who's mother was a religious lunatic. Super fucking likely to happen
This is not unusual in my opinion. In my childhood, I attended Catholic, Baptist, and Assembly of God churches, and this would not have raised any eyebrows. Especially with Assembly of God.
If the people only knew what they are supporting with their tax dollars (in USA, churches pay no taxes)! It's obscene and frankly ridiculous. The farther you go in the church, the crazier things are.
And make no mistake, they will kill you. The best part of adulthood for me was getting out of the church, as a kid I was horrified every day with these absolute lunatics.
My master, Satan, says we should have premarital sex immediately
It's a win either way
Fake: Anon has gf Gay: Convoluted break-up fantasy to explain why he can't get with girls integrates his actual religious trauma from his own homophobic fundy household growing up
I dated a religious girl for three years. Her mom was a pastor at a small church. She was a regular practicing Christian. Definitely had some habits and customs I wasn't used to. I mostly just nodded along and was polite.
Never really caused us problems long term. We ended up breaking up after our jobs pulled us in different directions. We're still good friends and we regularly keep in touch.
Someone claiming to have a GF on 4chan - especially in 2026 - is extremely sus. Sounds fake and/or gay to me. Don't take it too seriously.
It's a spectrum. Yeah most are normies but in the bible belt and suicide belt regions of the US you get some certified wackjobs who think every obvious fuckup is a "supernatural attack".
Don't ask who I'm quoting that phrase from.
Claming demonic attacks without the popes approval? Well that's sounds like a reason for a excommunication...
They're probably not Catholic. This is peak American evangelical crazy right here.
Hmm i don't think demons would attack the most favoured by God. Or rather, not in that way - demons are supposed to be packaged up with every time that YOU sin, they can't just randomly go "TURN EVIL! TURN EVIL! TURN EVIL!"
They can if you have a persecution fetish
She ain't a red flag she a whole chinese military parade.
Religious people are all nuts, just the degree varies a little bit.
Literally the same interaction between religion and reality as The Spirit Catches You And You Fall Down. Except without the language and cultural discontinuity.