Are we not allowed to say masturbate on the internet anymore?
this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2026
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masturbate.
nope it's fine, they're just dumb.
Yes. We can also swear: fuck shit cock piss cunt
I haven't even verified my age! What freedom!
You must not be thinking about the kids enough.
Anyway jacking my cock
This one right here officer
I think the preferred term for that is "gooning" nowadays.
I do not prefer this term. I do not.
Even if they have at it for only a few minutes? That's stolen valor.
these are mastolbation consultants.
They'll pay people to goon over AI but we still can't legalize sex workers. What. The. Fuck.
Joi AI
JOI for Jerk Off Instructions, a popular genre for video and audio.
This joke also made it into Blade Runner 2049; the AI hologram in love with Ryan Gosling, played by Ana de Armas, is named Joi.
I knew some dudes were dumb, but I didn't know they needed instructions for that. I guess it really does take all kinds of veggies to make chicken soup, what a world.
It's less needing instruction and more a humiliation or submissive kink, from what I've seen. Not my thing but whatever floats their goat
I am sorry but do goat actually float?
Only under certain conditions, and they vary from goat to goat. You'll need to check with your goat to see what makes it float.
If they're made of wood.
Burn the witch!
With enough balloons tied to them, anyone can float.
Ain't that the truth, brother.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adelir_Ant%C3%B4nio_de_Carli?wprov=sfla1
[off topic]
Back in the day, girlie magazine 'High Society' single-handedly created the phone porn industry.
The editorial staff was looking for a way to raise interest. Someone suggested that the publisher, X-star Gloria Leonard, record a phone message about the next issue.
The number got approximately 20 billion calls in the first 90 minutes.
The rest is history...
"According to the model, you set the mood with vintage polka music and then start leafing through a paint catalog."
Holy shit, slow down, I can only get so hard.
I don't think most people mind the masturbation but I'm not writing essays about it afterward. The pay is too low.