Microblog Memes

My husband got tired of being the only planner and stopped, and his friend group basically disintegrated. He came to regret it later realizing, yes, someone has to take the lead or things don't happen.

Obligatory, FUCK AIRBNB!

Never ever book an airbnb

book the airbnb

I'd rather be lonely than give this garbage company a single cent of my money.

Yeah, book airbnb, buy tickets and then watch people casually forget to pay you back.

oh sure thanks, let me get my gold lined cheque book and start making reservations this second!

Oh my goodness, THIS, a million percent!! Also, you have to be ok with the event you plan being the reward in itself for you, because if you expect people to thank you... you're going to have a bad time. On top of that, you have to be ok with people expecting you to do it forever from that moment on. Basically, you're going to have to be quite emotionally and mentally robust to enjoy the experience 🤣

There's a reason I stopped hosting gatherings and planning events.

I used to live within 20 minutes by car, bus, or train to every single one of my friends. Now the closest one is 35 minutes away. Many of them are parents now, some have second jobs.

Planning changed from a "let's hang next Friday" to a week-long process of comparing availabilities (usually received after individually bugging people) which results in a planned night 1-2 months out. And often times, something comes up and we have to start over.

I got frustrated with it and started giving them MY availability, telling them to figure it out between themselves and get back to me. But since I'm kind of the linchpin of a disparate friend group, it rarely happens.

Step 1: Become the planner.

Step 2: Tell every one that the plan is cancelled.

Step 3: Enjoy your time alone at home, watching a film or show you've already watched 100 times, while drinking cola with potato chips.

Introverts need more casual interactions, the walk or bike to work/school, with a stop at the local park or coffee shop

I feel that deep in my bones.

Way back in late December of 2006, I got invited to a community meetup for a forum that I was active in. It was in the north of Germany, about 600 km away from where I live but I had already met a few people in person, so I went. We were about 60 people, anywhere from age 13 to 30 sharing a rented location for a week, building RPG Maker games, playing TTRPGs and Wii Sports, cooking for ourselves and celebrating the new year.

Since then, I've been there at the same location, every time that event was held. Usually twice a year, except during COVID. People came and went. The original organizers resigned after the winter 2010/11 event because it had become too much work for them. A new team took over and in 2015 I was made part of that team. First as just one of many, then as second in command and eventually when the team lead left in 2019, I took his place.

The community has shrunk over time, many members are not active anymore because of their jobs, partners or children but I'm still holding on. Every summer and every winter, I take a train across my home country to give the 20-30 remaining guests a week where we can feel young and forget what happens in the outside world. In addition to that, I started an event closer to where I live. Kind of a woodlands retreat for 10-20 people over a long weekend in spring.

The team has shrunk to just my SO and me. I've been looking for someone who can help us or take over for us in case we can't make it. So far, I have found nobody. It is a hard and thankless job but I know if I give up I might never see some of my friends again, so I'm holding on as long as I can. As long as we are enough people to pay the rent for a location that has become a second home for most of us. I have sworn to make it at least to my 20th anniversary this coming winter, even if I have to pay everything out of my own pocket. After that, we'll see. I'm still hoping for a return of the old guard or an influx of new guests and maybe one of them is interested in learning how to do what I'm doing.

This week, I planned a 4p game night, got several people to respond affirmatively on it. No one showed up.

Some people are just so brain-empty they can’t associate words to meaning. They just respond in expectation, assuming they should say “Yeah, I’ll be there!” and then perform no follow up with travel planning or calendar entries. That is how dumb this generation is.

Neat AirBnB ad

If I have the spoons and money, I like to just host an outing for my friends. Plan it, pay for everything and drive. It's sweet to provide an experience that might not have happened without the effort.

...fuh ... rinds? ...free unds?? What is that word? Oh, the TV show? What is this?

When i inv people to things they don't come

I was the planner for my friend group for the better part of a decade, and then I moved to a different country.

I'm still the planner for my biweekly Zoom call with my besties, which is going strong.

The other friends pretty rarely get together now. I told them someone had to take up the mantle, but nobody did.

The downside of this is when people flake or aren't sure about future plans. You're stuck with the bill.

Possibly the most crippling part of having adhd for me is that I desperately try to do this but cannot hold it together long enough to make anything happen. Everyone I know talks about how bored and isolated they are, how much they miss getting out or getting together, but the only reason it worked when I was leading things was because I had an open door policy and no one else ever had anywhere else to be. Now that we all have lives and partners and families I can't just let people show up at 3am, crash on the couch, and hand out tomorrow. They couldn't do that if I could because they all have work in the morning. Ironically I live closer to my friends now than I ever did before and get to spend so much less time with them.