Microblog Memes

There's a reason I stopped hosting gatherings and planning events.

I used to live within 20 minutes by car, bus, or train to every single one of my friends. Now the closest one is 35 minutes away. Many of them are parents now, some have second jobs.

Planning changed from a "let's hang next Friday" to a week-long process of comparing availabilities (usually received after individually bugging people) which results in a planned night 1-2 months out. And often times, something comes up and we have to start over.

I got frustrated with it and started giving them MY availability, telling them to figure it out between themselves and get back to me. But since I'm kind of the linchpin of a disparate friend group, it rarely happens.

The downside of this is when people flake or aren't sure about future plans. You're stuck with the bill.

My husband got tired of being the only planner and stopped, and his friend group basically disintegrated. He came to regret it later realizing, yes, someone has to take the lead or things don't happen.

Oh my goodness, THIS, a million percent!! Also, you have to be ok with the event you plan being the reward in itself for you, because if you expect people to thank you... you're going to have a bad time. On top of that, you have to be ok with people expecting you to do it forever from that moment on. Basically, you're going to have to be quite emotionally and mentally robust to enjoy the experience 🤣

I'm the planner for my friend group (maybe the secondary planner) and my wife is the planner for most of her friends. We just had a baby and now we can plan less so we have less events to go to.

Step 1: Become the planner.

Step 2: Tell every one that the plan is cancelled.

Step 3: Enjoy your time alone at home, watching a film or show you've already watched 100 times, while drinking cola with potato chips.

I feel that deep in my bones.

Way back in late December of 2006, I got invited to a community meetup for a forum that I was active in. It was in the north of Germany, about 600 km away from where I live but I had already met a few people in person, so I went. We were about 60 people, anywhere from 13 to 30 sharing a rented location for a week, building RPG Maker games, playing TTRPGs and Wii Sports, cooking for ourselves and celebrating the new year.

Since then, I've been there at the same location, every time that event was held. Usually twice a year, except during COVID. People came and went. The original organizers resigned in after the winter 2010/11 event because it had become too much work for them. A new team took over and in 2015 I was made part of that team. First as just one of many, then as second in command and eventually when the team lead left in 2019, I took his place.

The community has shrunk over time, many members are not active anymore because of their jobs, partners or children but I'm still holding on. Every summer and every winter, I take a train across my home country to give the 20-30 remaining guests a week where we can feel young and forget what happens in the outside world. In addition to that, I started an event closer to where I live. Kind of a woodlands retreat for 10-20 people over a long weekend in spring.

The team has shrunk to just my SO and me. I've been looking for someone who can help us or take over for us in case we can't make it. So far, I have found nobody. It is a hard and thankless job but I know if I give up I might never see some of my friends again, so I'm holding on as long as I can. As long as we are enough people to pay the rent for a location that has become a second home for most of us. I have sworn to make it at least to my 20th anniversary this coming winter, even if I have to pay everything out of my own pocket. After that, we'll see. I'm still hoping for a return of the old guard or an influx of new guests and maybe one of them is interested in learning how to do what I'm doing.

What I get from this is plan your own fun and enjoy it by yourself. Make your crappy friends jealous.

2meirl4meirl