When I was like 5, I mixed up spectacles with testicles.
'I can't do the test today teacher, I forgot my testicles at home'
this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2026
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When I was 10ish I mixed up organisms with orgasms. Talking to my adult brother-in-law and sister "there are a lot of weird orgasms in this level." Contra.
Wow, you really like Contra.
Yeah, but in a weird way
Had a teacher who would say "quiz-ee" instead of "quiz". He stopped the day he said "test-ee".
Edit: As a bonus, he taught Biology...
I had a friend, we were like 12, who was quizzing our biology teacher and eventually she asked him what the biggest orgasm was instead of organism.
At some point when I was a young kid and hadn't learned anything about anything, I got it in my head that "condoms" is an abbreviation for "condiments."
Fast forward to watching the color drain out from my poor mother's face at a restaurant when, after being asked if we needed anything, I calmly and with a completely straight face informed the waitress that we could use some condoms.
My aunt was horrified when I told her I made a condom.....I had made apartment with LEGO and just learned the word "condominium"
Oh god, a LEGO condom... You thought stepping on a LEGO was bad... Try sticking a whole sculpture in ya
When I was a kid, my parents had a dog that was already getting up there in years, named Arthur. At some point it was explained to me that he was moving slowly and getting tired more quickly because of his arthritis.
I thought my dad was saying 'Arthur-itis,' as a way of saying the dog was getting old and frail. I discovered my mistake when we were at my grandmother's and I blamed her taking an hour to get ready to go out for dinner on her 'Nana-itis'
The youngster's precocious, certainly.
I thought it was "Sodom and Gamera" for way too long. Imagine some giant, fire-breathing turtle out there getting attacked by God for being too sinful or whatever
I mean, there's no proof the fire that destroyed the cities wasn't raining down from a kaiju. The only witness was Lot's wife and she wasn't saying much afterwards
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You ain't wrong kid
I mean... It still 100% works and has roughly the same meaning in that context.
"They got destroyed!"
"They got fucked in the ass!"
Same difference 🤷♂️
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Damn, they really raped us in the ass out there huh?
Our assholes got obliterated
Probably not far from what actually happened to the O's
When I was younger I used to think a drug addict was someone who did drugs in their attic. I always thought it was strange that people had to go up in their attics to do drugs
When I was still in junior school, our team lost badly at football. I went home and told my parents we were well and truly buggered. (That's what Jamie had said and I thought it sounded appropriately drastic.) Mum gasped and sternly said my name, and Dad firmly said that I shouldn't use that word. I asked why not. Very patiently, he explained to me what it meant. I was a little taken aback and did indeed stop using that word.
In all fairness, it the British peoples' fault for coming up with goofy names for non goofy matters.
May apologise on behalf of my people. I shall endeavour to only call it rectal intercourse from now on.
I don't get it, what does it mean? Well and truly buggered sounds very polite to me.
Well… he’s not wrong.
He’s not correct, either; he’s just less wrong than he’s correct.
“We got Gomorrahed out there!”
So many people traveling the Oregon Trial got dysenteried.
Still works
It's biblically accurate.
How bad did they lose?
O's have been swept in their last 3 playoff appearances iirc.
HAHA
I am very curious what exactly their dad was yelling at that moment.
Huh? It seems like "we got obliterated out there" would mean the same thing in that situation, not sure why that would tip the poster off as to what sodomize actually means.
I think it was the dad yelling, presumably telling the kid they shouldn't say his favourite team got fucked in the ass, that tipped the kid off to the meaning.
OK, I completely misread the post. I somehow read that the father yelled that...
At 9 years old I excelled in English. My teacher gave me the extension task of finding 10 words to add to a spelling list every week. Part of it was using the word in a sentence.
I misremembered the word ‘substitute’ one week, and my sentence for the word I chose instead became “Contact lenses are used as a prostitute for glasses.”
Somehow I was still allowed to continue the extension tasks after that.
(When they learned the meaning they didn't stop saying it like that tho.)
I mean... If it works
ngl if one of my kids said this in the same context I'd just respond with the Grizzly Adams nod.
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