this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 249 points 4 days ago (8 children)

Everything I hear about that guy is worse each time

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 175 points 4 days ago (2 children)

The actual self quote is so much worse than the headline

“I was standing in front of my parked car on I-684 cutting the penis out of a road killed raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be,” he wrote, reportedly reflecting on strained relationships with his brother Douglas Kennedy and cousin Bobby Shriver. “My kids waited patiently in the car.”

[–] nkat2112@sh.itjust.works 64 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Holy...

This might be weirder than the time he bragged about his immunity and fearlessness of germs in the context of cocaine and a public toilet seat. But I forget how that goes.

[–] lividweasel@lemmy.world 31 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Where does it rank relative to strapping a whale head to the roof of the minivan, dripping whale goo on his family?

[–] variablenine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Or the time he dumped a dead bear cub in central park and staged it to look like a bicycle accident. That was only 12 years ago

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[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 82 points 4 days ago (8 children)

Everything I learn about him is against my will.

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[–] merdaverse@lemmy.zip 72 points 3 days ago (1 children)

“I was standing in front of my parked car on I-684 cutting the penis out of a road killed raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be,” he wrote, reportedly reflecting on strained relationships with his brother Douglas Kennedy and cousin Bobby Shriver. “My kids waited patiently in the car.”

This wins the Not the Onion gold medal

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 125 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (7 children)

Somehow this guy is even more deranged to me than Trump (EU perspective). How in the ever living fuck does this dude get to have any say on healthcare? How can even the most sycophantic republican see this guy bathe in shit and necrophilia/bestiality crossover some roadkill, and think "yeah, this man gives good advice on healthy living"???

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 72 points 4 days ago (1 children)

They want us all to get sick and die so the United States fails.

Trump hates this country that always meddled in his affairs and then broke up his pedo-influence ring, leading him to kill his best friend to cover up what he knew. It’s like an opera to that old queen-in-denial, and as a narcissistic sociopath he can’t not get his revenge. “Don’t worry Jeffry, I’ll take them all down for what they made me do to you”

All the little toadies in the admin think that if they usher in the apocalypse they’ll be raptured into heaven and never have to deal with the rest of us and our needs again.

All the billionaires watched this guy cheat his way to the top and since they’ve all done it to one degree or another they think it’s a great opportunity to make more money (and for some, it has been)

RFK Jr has had half his brain eaten by a worm.

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[–] ProfThadBach@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Don't forget the rotting whale head he strapped to the top of his car on a family outing.

[–] moody@lemmings.world 27 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Or the dead bear he casually dropped in Central Park

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[–] MithranArkanere@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

Calling these people "weird" does a disservice to all good and honest weird people all over the world.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 39 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I keep thinking about that guy that had to shutter his political career because of one awkward yell at a campaign rally. Or Al Franken. How did we get from there to here?

Don't forget Al "I invented the Internet" Gore. What actually happened was: Al Gore as a young senator was shown ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet. He then wrote the High Performance Computing Act of 1991 which led to the creation of the Internet as we know it today. During the 2000 presidential election cycle, he gave an interview in which he stated that he "took the initiative in creating the Internet" -- a perfectly reasonable claim that went unremarked upon at the time. Months later, Bush advisor Karl Rove dug up the interview and orchestrated a smear campaign through which Gore was supposed to have claimed to have "invented the Internet" and the rest is history.

Democrats do not sabotage their careers by yelling weirdly or being photographed with their tiny heads sticking out of tanks. They are assassinated (just politically, usually) by a savage and ruthless enemy.

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Imagine being 18 years old and this kind of insanity is all you’ve ever known.

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[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

AND WERE GOONG TO WHITE HOUSE ! HEYAAH

Fucking classic

Honestly I’d give my left testicle to even have John McCain back in office. I didn’t like that guy but atleast when he talked about Obama he said something like “no he’s not a Muslim and he’s not going to ruin the country. He’s a fine man we just disagree “

Or something like that.

I’d trade trump for McCain right now if it was an option.

So I agree WTF happened to politics! They aren’t even trying to be shady anymore.

We know the government doesn’t have aliens now atleast because trump would have announced it, say he found them, and name the species after himself.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

Trump told a lot of stupid, hateful people that their bigotry and ignorance weren't merely justified, they were righteous in their beliefs

He told them that their hatred made them better than the people they fear

He promised them that he would hurt the people they dislike, and they're hoping that they'll get to hurt them too

And too many people in the US are stupid, ignorant, afraid and full of hatred

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[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 83 points 4 days ago
[–] Slashme@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

That doesn't bother me at all. I come from a biologist family, and this is unusual, but not morally wrong, and it speaks to curiosity. Unfortunately, his curiosity didn't extend to developing a working understanding of science or biology, and he turned into a conspiracy theorist with a complete lack of self-criticism.

So now, instead of becoming a scientist, he's destroying the practice of science in the USA.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

hes totally in the pseudoscience. even someone with a science background isnt going around cutting off dead animals penises. he also chose the animal with the most dangerous pathogens too.

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[–] webkitten@piefed.social 13 points 3 days ago

Men will do anything to avoid seeing a therapist.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Look, usually I am just as much "fuck trump" as anyone else l, but seriously, how many of you would honestly just let a perfectly good racoon penis go to waste?

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[–] BurgerBaron@piefed.social 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 50 points 4 days ago (3 children)

“… so anyway you guys wanna see my roadkill penis collection?

As far as a hobby goes it’s got some stiff competition! Hah!

But anyways do you?”

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 37 points 3 days ago

What kinda Jeffrey Dahmer bullshit is this?

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 36 points 3 days ago (11 children)

Any penis can be detachable if you put in the work. Detachable Peeenis

/seriously though, wtf

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[–] heartpunk25@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

I think this is just what happens when republican men don't feel like they can be bisexual.

[–] ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It has been said that in times of trouble, the arts flourish. I don't know how true that is, but of all the tributes I've seen to the batshit crazy that is RFK Jr, I think our own @Formfiller@lemmy.world has captured RFK Jr's true self best in the most fitting artistic memorialization I've seen yet:

Source

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[–] pyre@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago (3 children)

what does it take for a person get institutionalized

[–] zebidiah@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well if you're a Kennedy, then a having a vagina and an interest in boys will get you a lobotomy...

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[–] sns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 56 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Tom Green humped a dead moose. Does that qualify him to be the surgeon general?

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 70 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Tom Green would be profoundly better as the surgeon general.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 60 points 4 days ago

The dead moose would be profoundly better as the surgeon general.

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[–] Bahnd@lemmy.world 45 points 4 days ago

Between international crimes on the high seas, Pakistan being the voice of reason, and the pope & muslims leaders agreeing on something, the writers are going to have to do better for wild and unexpected shit... Its only tuesday.

[–] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This is WEIRD, right?

I mean I know there are professions and hobbies where cutting the penis off an animal carcass is just another Tuesday. I assume there are (or have been) cultures where this sort of thing tracks. But, this isn't a normal thing for people to think about doing, let alone do, right? Or am I the weirdo and literally it's super common to play with the penis of dead animals?

Like, I'm not intentionally being ablest or anything, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

And in all fairness, I haven't read the private journals to know the details of this "absurd scenario" and given the subject matter, I don't think it's anything I'd want to read, the headline is more than enough to be off putting. So, there is that.

[–] Bongles@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

It's RFK Jr. This is just another day for him.

He took a beached whale carcass' head, threw it on top of his car, and the "juices" leaked in through the window on his kids.

He dumped a dead bear cub in central park and left a bike on top just to make it look weird, as a "prank".

He snorted cocaine off the toilet seat according to himself.

And this is the stuff he openly talks about, I'm convinced you can search "RFK Jr animal story" with damn near any animal and you'll find something.

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[–] Boost@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Man this is like a 4/10 on the scale of "weird shit RFK jr. has done with a dead animal"

[–] Yuccagnocchiyaki@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

I promise that, because of the way he acts towards animals, he has killed and eaten people

[–] etherphon@piefed.world 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is really some serial killer shit.

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[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

TOTALLY NORMAL.

WE'VE ALL HAD HOLIDAYS LIKE THAT.

TOTALLY REGULAR URGE TO KEEP THE PENISES OF ROADKILL FOR CLOSER STUDY LATER.

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[–] 6stringringer@lemmy.zip 29 points 4 days ago (6 children)

He has a torture shed in some remote location. No proof but wouldn’t be surprised the slightest.

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[–] NoxAstrum@lemmy.ca 22 points 3 days ago

Well, what else was he going to do with it, leave it alone?

[–] Hiro8811@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

Yes "to study later", in his room, alone, blind closed, red wine and lines of coke

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

RFK thinks cutting a raccoon penis makes him like Leonardo da Vinci but it actually makes him more like Buffalo Bill.

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[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

That's a funny way of spelling "to eat so he'd become more virile".

[–] TwilitSky@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This sounds like how Dahmer got his start.

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[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Raccoons have a bone in their penis

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