this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] MithranArkanere@lemmy.world 14 points 11 hours ago

Calling these people "weird" does a disservice to all good and honest weird people all over the world.

[–] IEatDaFeesh@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

That's why his voice is so hoarse! He's been chocking on that raccoon dick for years.

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago

Maybe in some mirror-universe it's reversed.

[–] Yuccagnocchiyaki@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago

I promise that, because of the way he acts towards animals, he has killed and eaten people

[–] webkitten@piefed.social 12 points 13 hours ago

Men will do anything to avoid seeing a therapist.

[–] TwilitSky@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

This sounds like how Dahmer got his start.

[–] CaptainSpaceman@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

The guy with brain worms and dropped a dead bear in central park is basically a half step from being the shortbus version of Hannibal

[–] BlackVenom@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

Shortbus Hannibal Apt title and a band name

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 hours ago

He was 14. Not saying they're the same, but it is weird too imo. Is it rich people with no boundaries or morals instilled?

Theodore Roosevelt: The Taxidermist

Young Roosevelt was a person of acute single-mindedness. This was best demonstrated in his avid collecting (killing) and preserving (skinning and stuffing) animals, and in 1872 he was most particularly fascinated by birds.

https://medium.com/@mollykorroch/theodore-roosevelt-the-taxidermist-16595ad5f818

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Raccoons have a bone in their penis

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 hours ago

Except humans, for some reason

[–] BlackVenom@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago

Found the cock stuffer

[–] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 11 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

This is WEIRD, right?

I mean I know there are professions and hobbies where cutting the penis off an animal carcass is just another Tuesday. I assume there are (or have been) cultures where this sort of thing tracks. But, this isn't a normal thing for people to think about doing, let alone do, right? Or am I the weirdo and literally it's super common to play with the penis of dead animals?

Like, I'm not intentionally being ablest or anything, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

And in all fairness, I haven't read the private journals to know the details of this "absurd scenario" and given the subject matter, I don't think it's anything I'd want to read, the headline is more than enough to be off putting. So, there is that.

[–] Bongles@lemmy.zip 11 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

It's RFK Jr. This is just another day for him.

He took a beached whale carcass' head, threw it on top of his car, and the "juices" leaked in through the window on his kids.

He dumped a dead bear cub in central park and left a bike on top just to make it look weird, as a "prank".

He snorted cocaine off the toilet seat according to himself.

And this is the stuff he openly talks about, I'm convinced you can search "RFK Jr animal story" with damn near any animal and you'll find something.

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 4 points 13 hours ago

The top health authority of the United States of Merica!

[–] Boost@lemmy.world 7 points 14 hours ago

Man this is like a 4/10 on the scale of "weird shit RFK jr. has done with a dead animal"

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 5 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Are his eyes really cartoonishly lopsided or is it just a trick of the angle?

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

As much as I want to be mean to him in every way, I don't think his eyes are that crooked.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Someone should study what's left of this freak's brain.

[–] ClamDrinker@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

The brain worm is already at it

[–] socsa@piefed.social 18 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Look, usually I am just as much "fuck trump" as anyone else l, but seriously, how many of you would honestly just let a perfectly good racoon penis go to waste?

[–] Hisse@programming.dev 2 points 14 hours ago

Its just that I usually take the whole racoon

[–] LogicOverFeelings@piefed.ca 1 points 10 hours ago

That guy is like on a speed run to be the weirdest human being ever.

[–] heartpunk25@lemmy.world 15 points 18 hours ago

I think this is just what happens when republican men don't feel like they can be bisexual.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 7 points 15 hours ago

That's a funny way of spelling "to eat so he'd become more virile".

[–] Panthenetrunner@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 15 hours ago

The worm recognizes it's own.

[–] BurgerBaron@piefed.social 18 points 19 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

https://youtu.be/NAh9oLs67Cw

Hour long speech by John Barrymore deserves sharing

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

Wakes up

I should open up Lemmy while I make coffee

Sees this travesty of a headline

Well, back to bed for me!

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 14 hours ago

Dude with no respect for life has no respect for the dead? I'm shocked! \s

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

Half expected him to eat it

[–] Slashme@lemmy.world 28 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

That doesn't bother me at all. I come from a biologist family, and this is unusual, but not morally wrong, and it speaks to curiosity. Unfortunately, his curiosity didn't extend to developing a working understanding of science or biology, and he turned into a conspiracy theorist with a complete lack of self-criticism.

So now, instead of becoming a scientist, he's destroying the practice of science in the USA.

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Maybe people who mutilate the genitals of dead animals aren't actually future scientists?

Worth thinking about.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 16 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

hes totally in the pseudoscience. even someone with a science background isnt going around cutting off dead animals penises. he also chose the animal with the most dangerous pathogens too.

[–] thax@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe the brain worm came from taste-testing raccoon cock rather than snorting coke off toilet seats. Just the type of intrepid thinker we want in charge of the Health Department, heh.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 49 minutes ago* (last edited 49 minutes ago)

he loves to drip methylene blue into his drink, the least natural way to "have an organic" diet.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 38 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I keep thinking about that guy that had to shutter his political career because of one awkward yell at a campaign rally. Or Al Franken. How did we get from there to here?

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago

Don't forget Al "I invented the Internet" Gore. What actually happened was: Al Gore as a young senator was shown ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet. He then wrote the High Performance Computing Act of 1991 which led to the creation of the Internet as we know it today. During the 2000 presidential election cycle, he gave an interview in which he stated that he "took the initiative in creating the Internet" -- a perfectly reasonable claim that went unremarked upon at the time. Months later, Bush advisor Karl Rove dug up the interview and orchestrated a smear campaign through which Gore was supposed to have claimed to have "invented the Internet" and the rest is history.

Democrats do not sabotage their careers by yelling weirdly or being photographed with their tiny heads sticking out of tanks. They are assassinated (just politically, usually) by a savage and ruthless enemy.

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Imagine being 18 years old and this kind of insanity is all you’ve ever known.

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[–] merdaverse@lemmy.zip 71 points 1 day ago (2 children)

“I was standing in front of my parked car on I-684 cutting the penis out of a road killed raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be,” he wrote, reportedly reflecting on strained relationships with his brother Douglas Kennedy and cousin Bobby Shriver. “My kids waited patiently in the car.”

This wins the Not the Onion gold medal

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[–] pyre@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (3 children)

what does it take for a person get institutionalized

[–] zebidiah@lemmy.ca 14 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Well if you're a Kennedy, then a having a vagina and an interest in boys will get you a lobotomy...

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago

well thank God for having a penis and a worm instead, and only an interest in collecting carcasses in whole or part

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Family and friends who know you and care about you and are worried... Or cops.

Unfotunately this dude doesn't seem to have a basic support network and the cops serve him.

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[–] ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It has been said that in times of trouble, the arts flourish. I don't know how true that is, but of all the tributes I've seen to the batshit crazy that is RFK Jr, I think our own @Formfiller@lemmy.world has captured RFK Jr's true self best in the most fitting artistic memorialization I've seen yet:

Source

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago

Thanks! I’m displaying it on a toilet at my student art show

[–] Lj404333@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

One hell off a pegging he gets with that

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