this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2026
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 127 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He added that some people in the CIA were "mad at me for my views about Israel."

Who could have guessed a fascist authoritarian regime would insist on 100% loyalty, especially from the ones who installed them...

Maybe someone should write a poem about it?

[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 55 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Ok, I'll start.

There once was a douche named Tucker...

[–] just2look@lemmy.zip 93 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

He thought everyone was a sucker

He helped the far right,

Now they won't help him fight

The criminal charges, dumb fucker

The power of friendship made this happen.

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This shit is gonna be taught in schools some day.

"Here we have a snippet from the poet Just2look ..."

[–] just2look@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I really hope they find more useful and eloquent things to teach than my off the cuff internet rambling.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, it'll be taught, just not as official curriculum.

I learned about a man from Nantucket at school.

Are you talking about the one who kept his money in a bucket, or George Pollard, master of the whaling vessel Essex that was sunk by an apparently vengeful bull sperm whale in the Pacific, inspiring Herman Melville's novel Moby Dick? History doesn't record where Captain Pollard kept all his money.

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago
[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ok, I’ll start.

To be fair it was a reference to a poem a priest wrote after telling his congregation to bring Nazis into power...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_They_Came

I was aware, but chose to have some fun.

[–] lemmyng@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Whose lips look like an asshole that puckers.

He wears bow ties like a nerd,

Fashions his hair like a turd,

And has been cucked, still believing he's the cucker.

Happy poem and cake to you.

[–] zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Who’s probably a child fucker…

[–] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Elegant brevity achieved.

[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 48 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Name one dipshit in the current regime who isn't a foreign agent

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 8 points 21 hours ago

Scott Besent seems to be constantly in over his head like the Dean from Community. And like the Dean he is incapable of adding benefit to any plot he is helping stage.

Stephen Miller is doing it for the hate of the game. He just loves to hate and thinks that prosperity is zero sum so if minorities suffer then the ruling class gains. But this is not the work of foreign influence. He found the right coat tails at the right time.

[–] untorquer@quokk.au 5 points 1 day ago

Well that's how they all keep each other in line.

[–] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago

What an unfortunate thing to happen on free eggs night.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 8 points 20 hours ago

If he wants the DOJ to leave him alone, he should fuck kids instead of couches

[–] MightyPez@fedia.io 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

He also said he was attacked by a demon in his bed.

Liars gonna lie, especially when it gets eyes on them to shill their shitty nicotine pouches

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I’m sure he knows what sleep paralysis is. And that’s why he feels like he can make those claims. Should anything come of it, he can fall back to: “I don’t know, you’re probally right, it could be sleep paralysis.”

People like him keep up with the nonsense the fringe is chattering about and into just so he can integrate it into his “down to earth, just like you” personality. Same thing has been happening with the UAP topic.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That is a real psychological phenomenon. A form of parasomnia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Yes and no. Your sleep paralysis demon only attacks if you're a douchebag. Otherwise they just stare creepily and tell you stories.

[–] Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social 4 points 1 day ago
[–] splendid9583@kbin.earth 1 points 19 hours ago
[–] starik@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I’m afraid he will be president in 2029, especially if he is perceived as the most anti-Israel candidate. He’ll have both MAGA and the one-issue voters on the left who sat out 2024.

[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

one-issue voters on the left

I'm not sure I can call anyone who votes for fascists "on the left"…

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'd rather have Tucker than J.D. Vance. Vance scares the shit out of me, in a "cyberpunk horror" kind of way.

I'd like to think neither are particularly electable, but that's not really true anymore, is it?

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That damn pesky genocide, why can’t voters just tolerate doing it!

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2 points 23 hours ago

Here's the thing. He would also be doing genocide on the home front as well. Frankly speaking the only real way to solve this IMO is either for the federal government to collapse (which I'm all for) or to just start murking candidates who support Israel, maybe bomb out AIPAC.

But until such a point as one of those happens or supporting Israel becomes too toxic it'll be between one genocide or multiple genocide plus every other horrific fucktard idea the right pulls out of their collective ass.

[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world -2 points 1 day ago

Welcome to the "both sides" argument, bitch. First time?