Her steak too juicy and lobster too buttery

This is basically what I say to my wife when I get an idea like this and the result of said idea will only benefit her. Her response is almost always something to the effect of “well ok hang on”. Lady, I know you well enough to know the things you like. Let me help you

And guess who loves the pizza I make for her in the pizza oven, the fresh baked sourdough bread I bake for her, the tomatoes from the garden I dug, the beer I brew, the pasta I make, and the deer meat I shoot? What a terrible life she has

What makes you think, she is complaining?

I built one with just clay and straw, used it every weekend for years, it cracked, rebuilt it, used for another two years, cracked again, rebuilt it a third time. I've moved to a new house and already miss it. Even if I'm not making pizza, it's great just for an outdoor fire while sitting in the hammock. It's contained and uses like 1/4 of the wood while not being as dangerous.

A great way to spend a weekend afternoon is to fire it up and loaf on the hammock. I'd also use it to bake bread, make peach cobblers in cast iron, and smoke bacon. Great times. Maybe I could get the parts to rebuild it this weekend...

It's the journey, not the destination

20 years ago my friend asked me to help him build. It sat in his yard and we fired it up probably once a month th 7 months of the year for around 5 years. Then we pulled it out of the ground, cut the base short, and mounted it onto a trailer. It went to another friend's house, where it sat for a couple years and cracked. Maybe got used 2x. ~5 years ago, we got it back in good shape, now with a coat of cement over the bricks, and used it for another friends wedding, ended up selling it to another friend who had a catering buisness, and now it does 3 days a week at the brewery

I bought an indoor unit, used it nearly 3x a month for 4 people over 10 years. It was fun as we all made our own and then I coked them, At least until my kids grew up and moved out. I would have loved an outdoor unit, wood fired had that amazing smoked taste to it and I’ve gone to parties at a friends who had one he put together “and used twice”. Effort for 90 seconds of cooking was just not worth it, but when cooking for 15 people he loved when I’d come over and light it up. It really was the journey for him.

Now I’m in Spain and single, I’d do it for me but the effort of planning just 1 pizza never appeals to me more than just getting out and seeing people at my local pizza place.

Making pizza is easy, making good dough takes a lifetime to learn

It's because making actual great pizza is super fucking hard and 99% of RESTAURANTS can't even do it properly, let alone great. Making great pizza is an artform that requires a shit ton of control and balance over like a hundred variables.

Most people just want cheap and easy pizza at home, not a multi-generational, obsessive hobby that requires deep scientific knowledge and data tracking that's basically a universally devalued trade.

Was your dad a drag queen during his midlife crisis?

You joke, but my very Catholic grandmother will say things like that as a workaround to avoid blaspheming.

Although it's never been clear exactly which gods she's been referring to all my life - maybe I should ask her.