this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2026
191 points (99.0% liked)

Science Memes

19355 readers
1929 users here now

Welcome to c/science_memes @ Mander.xyz!

A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.



Rules

  1. Don't throw mud. Behave like an intellectual and remember the human.
  2. Keep it rooted (on topic).
  3. No spam.
  4. Infographics welcome, get schooled.

This is a science community. We use the Dawkins definition of meme.



Research Committee

Other Mander Communities

Science and Research

Biology and Life Sciences

Physical Sciences

Humanities and Social Sciences

Practical and Applied Sciences

Memes

Miscellaneous

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

If you've ever gone hiking through a farmer's field, you've likely noticed that your compass points directly to the nearest cow.

This is not an accident, and is part of a government conspiracy to replace all livestock with robots, in order to make them more accessible to aliens beaming them up from orbit[0].

This slow transition from biological to mechanical cows is known as hardware disease[1], and should be celebrated.

The more you know.

0: https://www.aemagnets.com/news/how-cow-magnets-save-animals.html
1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardware_disease

all 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 77 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

I already know nobody is going to click on OP's link, so the short version is the magnet is permanently placed down in the cow's second stomach and it stays there for life, and if the cow eats and nails or pieces of barbed wire or other metal bits found on farms, it sticks to the magnet instead of shredding up their intestines or other stomachs as their feed is tossed around and digested and re-chewed and digested again, etc.

Some models have plastic caging around the magnet to also protect the cow's stomach from sharp metal things stuck to the magnet.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 33 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I prefer my version, but whatever

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

We can do your version on weekends and every other holiday.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Damn, did you make your username specifically for this post? 🐄

[–] RamenJunkie@midwest.social 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Thats actually fascinating.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Wait until you learn about portholes to their stomachs and methane vents people install on cows.

[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The volume you can drain from a cow with an infected whatever can be shocking, truly

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago

I've never known someone who lived around farm animals who doesn't have at least one story about either a giant boil or having to reach shoulder-deep into an animal to save it's stupid life because it ate something dumb.

[–] LeonineAlpha@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Watch "All watched over by machines of loving grace" BBC, Curtis; might be also on some dread YouTube. The cow portholes were part of (unexpected) scientific disproof of the trite popular wisdom of "Ballance of Nature." Whole series is a trip, if maybe a bad one.

machines of loving grace

I liked that band

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fun fact: you can set that methane on fire to make the cow 10% faster

Not anymore, cows now have a restrictor plate to make them more competitive

[–] spinne@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Literally true. You can reach inside a cannulated cow, but I definitely recommend the longest pair of rubber gloves you can find. The dishwashing kind will not cut it.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Alternatively, if the portal is large enough and you're into it, you could just Ace Ventura it.

[–] spinne@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago

Everybody needs a hobby!

[–] radix@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Have you ever magnetically levitated a cow? If not, then however magnetic they are, it's less magnetic than frogs.

[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 7 points 4 days ago

Were gonna need a bigger magnet

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 4 days ago (3 children)

So, you can actually use cows as a compass to a point.

Cows pretty consistently tend to align themselves on a north-south axis when resting. I don't believe anyone has ever figured out why.

[–] IchNichtenLichten@lemmy.wtf 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fucking cows, how do they work?

[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

They do know why, its that cows have some directional sense based in electromagnetism like an actual compass. Cows that are near high voltage power lines dont align the same way as cows normally do. Their sense gets messed up by the strength of the electrical fields that surround high voltage lines

They probably can see them, just like birds

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 0 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Compasses point north, not to any nearest magnet. If compasses pointed to any nearest magnet, they wouldn't work as intended.

[–] ebolapie@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] militaryintelligence@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] ebolapie@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Anymore should learn to listen a little better

[–] atropa@piefed.social 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Only in murica , cows dont need magnets .

[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

RFK Jr and Kid Rock will be launching a "Drink Your Whole Magnets" campaign this week.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago
[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I have one of these magnets on the side of my work truck. Didn't know I was driving a cow

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Imagine instead of eating steak and burgers, you just start eating a bunch of metal and they would call it "meat"

[–] Engywuck@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 days ago
[–] xep@discuss.online 2 points 4 days ago

Cows aren't... real...?