If you've ever gone hiking through a farmer's field, you've likely noticed that your compass points directly to the nearest cow.
This is not an accident, and is part of a government conspiracy to replace all livestock with robots, in order to make them more accessible to aliens beaming them up from orbit[0].
This slow transition from biological to mechanical cows is known as hardware disease[1], and should be celebrated.
The more you know.
0: https://www.aemagnets.com/news/how-cow-magnets-save-animals.html
1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardware_disease
Thats actually fascinating.
Wait until you learn about portholes to their stomachs and methane vents people install on cows.
Hole-y Cow!
The volume you can drain from a cow with an infected whatever can be shocking, truly
I've never known someone who lived around farm animals who doesn't have at least one story about either a giant boil or having to reach shoulder-deep into an animal to save it's stupid life because it ate something dumb.
Watch "All watched over by machines of loving grace" BBC, Curtis; might be also on some dread YouTube. The cow portholes were part of (unexpected) scientific disproof of the trite popular wisdom of "Ballance of Nature." Whole series is a trip, if maybe a bad one.
I liked that band
Fun fact: you can set that methane on fire to make the cow 10% faster
Not anymore, cows now have a restrictor plate to make them more competitive
Literally true. You can reach inside a cannulated cow, but I definitely recommend the longest pair of rubber gloves you can find. The dishwashing kind will not cut it.
Alternatively, if the portal is large enough and you're into it, you could just Ace Ventura it.
Everybody needs a hobby!