this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.

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[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 3 points 27 minutes ago

My parents made me wings from scraps of wood and fabric and I'd run along the sidewalk trying to take off.

It never worked though.

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 39 minutes ago

Bruh last time I tried to fly…it went fine? I got on a plane and flew. Eat shit sex pest.

[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure trying to fly is a pretty common experience, and many of those people tried really really hard.

I did. I settled on doing it with mechanical help.

[–] CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

RIght! What kid didn't jump off a chair/table/stairs hoping to fly, it fails. Then you get a cape, because Superman wears a cape so OBVIOUSLY you needed the cape..., then jump again and it fails. So you try again a few times, maybe with a super hero pose when you jump. Then someone yells at you to stop doing that...

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 16 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (2 children)

I can't tell the difference between Andrew Tate accounts and Andrew Tate parody accounts. Wonder if he's trying to lay the groundwork for an insanity defense?

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

To be the devil's advocate, I think by fly he meant personal development, like actually trying to do something with your life. Idk don't ask me, I'm a gamer

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

You're most likely right, but didn't he also say that it's gay for a man to sleep with a woman for enjoyment?

I don't seek him out, but when I see screenshots of stuff he's said, it's usually some vacuous nonsense like this.

[–] STUNT_GRANNY@lemmy.world 90 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

The secret is that you have to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

I tried hiring myself out as a distraction for people just before they hit the ground but the air horn and firecrackers aren’t working, maybe I just don’t have the legs for it

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 49 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I remember reading that for the first time at 13 and thinking it was the smartest fucking thing I had ever read. It makes perfect sense too. Sadly my aim is impeccable.

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 52 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

It's basically how orbiting works in a roundabout way. You just needed to go faster!

[–] foofiepie@lemmy.world 30 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

in a roundabout way

Very good.

[–] derry@midwest.social 8 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Tell that to a whale or bowl of petunias that suddenly materialized in the atmosphere of a planet with gravity

[–] DetachablePianist@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago
[–] FjordDan@lemmy.zip 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I almost upvoted you, then I realized you had 42 upvotes.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 7 hours ago (4 children)

Uh, yeah I tried. I jumped off my roof with cardboard attached to my arms and flapped. It didn't work. 😔

[–] webadict@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

90% of people quit RIGHT before they learn to fly.

[–] TheSeveralJourneysOfReemus@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

...

that must have been another

of your dreams

a dream of mad man moon

[–] LSNLDN@slrpnk.net 3 points 7 hours ago

When I was really young I was very confused as to why my plastic shopping bag always seemed to fail as a parachute. Reckoned I needed more height.

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[–] PDFuego@lemmy.world 99 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

Pretty sure everyone my age who saw the episode of Dragon Ball Z where Gohan teaches Videl how to fly all sat there that day and fuckin tried our hardest.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 62 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (3 children)

One of the consequences of getting older is that you forget what its like to simply not know things.

My two year old son is constantly climbing up stuff and tumbling off it without any regard to the possibility that gravity might be holding him back. Every time he lands hard, he looks at me with tears in his eyes, as though the whole world has betrayed him. If you could just fly by not understand gravity, everyone under the age of six would be levitating constantly.

Although, in Andrew's case, it might be less "getting older" and more "getting repeatedly concussed".

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Well, it's not enough to not understand gravity, or Isaac Newton would be the most hated human of all time. You have to fall and miss the ground, for example by being distracted in just the right moment.

[–] Rug_Pisser@piefed.zip 1 points 18 minutes ago

And from that point you can just fly all the way to the restaurant at the end of the universe.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

liek if u cry evrytime :'(

[–] urandom@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

I think he was always a dumb son of a bastard

[–] IggyTheSmidge@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 11 hours ago

Just wait 'til he turns 3 - that's when they gain the teleportation skill.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 18 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I do remember thinking something along the lines of: "... that.... sounds weirdly do-able.....?? .... Shut up, brain.... Unless......"

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 hours ago

I've spent more time than I care to admit to trying to shoot ki blasts and kamehamehas out of my hands

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[–] tmyakal@infosec.pub 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, no scientists have ever done a double-blind study on the effectiveness of parachutes at height. There's a possibility that landing safely is just a placebo effect.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

Landing safely is just survivor bias. No dead parachutist ever reported a failed parachute.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago

Wait... you guys can't fly ?

[–] Rokin@leminal.space 15 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

With the Scrolls of Icarian Flight, flying is not the problem, but the landing.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Tarhiel's dumbass just needed to cast another scroll before landing. 🤦‍♂️

[–] bonenode@piefed.social 5 points 7 hours ago

Please stop posting the bullshit this disgusting person says. He does not deserve the attention.

[–] MrSpArkle@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 hours ago

Key and peele are prophets.

[–] BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 20 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I only just noticed who the OOP was

[–] beetus@lemmy.world 12 points 12 hours ago

Got whiplash seeing it was him.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

I tried as a kid when a hurricane hit (it had run out of water by then so it was safe)

[–] nyankas@lemmy.world 24 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Franz Reichelt, the Flying Tailor, seemed to be pretty sure he could fly when, in 1912, he tried testing a wingsuit he designed himself. By jumping from the Eiffel Tower. He could not fly.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 2 points 7 hours ago

I have researched it and come to the conclusion I don't have enough money. Take to the seas instead like Neptune intended!

[–] Deconceptualist@leminal.space 2 points 7 hours ago

Distasteful Tate repost aside, this is extremely similar to the first note you encounter as a player in Divinity: Original Sin.

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 21 points 13 hours ago (7 children)

But I get a ~~stupid-looking~~ sweet hat off that body, plus scrolls containing a new and hilarious way to commit suicide!

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[–] athatet@lemmy.zip 4 points 9 hours ago

Oh gross. Don’t post tates shit.

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