this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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The secret is that you have to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I remember reading that for the first time at 13 and thinking it was the smartest fucking thing I had ever read. It makes perfect sense too. Sadly my aim is impeccable.
It's basically how orbiting works in a roundabout way. You just needed to go faster!
Very good.
According to catholics, that's how sex works too. Too bad they're all sharpshooters...
Tell that to a whale or bowl of petunias that suddenly materialized in the atmosphere of a planet with gravity
Not again
I tried hiring myself out as a distraction for people just before they hit the ground but the air horn and firecrackers aren’t working, maybe I just don’t have the legs for it
I almost upvoted you, then I realized you had 42 upvotes.
Now they're over, it might be time to downvote
If only Andrew Tate had the balls to recreate it irl