Played the trump card early.
this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
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I mean....it's a fairly recent addition. In fact I think you may have coined it right here.
Also, I'm stealing that.
I think I did. If there's a prior source out there, I might have heard and forgotten it though. Happy to share in either case.
Shart
Shit + Fart
I remember in hs, freshman year, physical ed was a required course, and I was one of the guys who hated it. We'd run like 4 laps around the track, then up and down the bleachers, almost every day for a 'warm up'.
So me and some old faces, some new, start lazy-assing around the track. Technically we are jogging, just. Like 6 of us. PE was our first class of the day and it was regular that someone didn't have time that morning and would have to go take a shit. Coach was always annoyed but what you gonna do.
Well one day, we are jogging, and... Emmanuel? 'mini' if I remember right. He starts making noises, like, devastating noises. We are on like lap 2 of 4 and we slow down, even for our usual pace, so we can all stick together.
And then it happens.
He makes this wet, sloshing noise, and we fucking stop. And we all look at him, and he said 'oh fuck, I think I sharted'. Omfg the mix of hilarity, fear, and pity, as he starts waddling down towards the building, and the coach is like 'the fuck' and is then informed of the situation. He was not annoyed that day, not that time.
Mini, if you're reading this, you seemed like a cool dude. And you left a great memory in the brains of several that day.
This post negates every single one of all those other posts that say "don't worry, nobody ever remembers that one really embarrassing thing you did back in school."
Yeah, some of us never forget and fondly remember every embarrassing moment we've witnessed, thankfully most of us know to not bring it up and just enjoy it to ourselves.
And this memory is rather clear, even though it occurred in the fall of 2007.
We definitely remember shit (heh) like this.
The closing paragraph kind of undercuts that though. Like people may remember, but they'll think you're cool.
The takeaway is clearly to shart in public if you want people to look up to you.
Shart.
Gambled and lost.
Da kam Land mit = that came with soil
Schurz = shart
Feuchter Furz - wet fart
I'm not from Britain but I've heard the phrase "touching cloth" from over there.
Is it touching cloth more like when you really really need to go and have been holding it for a long time?
That's correct. In this scenario there is still time
I'm not a UK native, so that's very likely, I always thought it was just any situation where your poo is touching your underwear.
"A man of the cloth", or "touching socks"
One is more disastrous than the other.
There's a comedy called A Touch of Cloth, it's written by Charlie Brooker
"I want that report on my table first thing tomorrow morning, Cloth"
"But sir-"
"On my table, Cloth!"
I've called that either prairie-dogging or turtle-heading
Fart with gravy??? Oh man. Please never invite me to Thanksgiving dinner at hour house!!! At the very least my potatoes will be DRY!
"Péter au jus" for a French spin on it.
Funnily enough, Peter is the German version of Pierre.
Both names come from the same word (Petrus or Petros meaning rock). As you might expect, German "fist" and French "péter" for "fart" are distant cousins too: "pezd-" -> "fistiz" -> "vist" -> "fist" or "pezd-" -> "peditum" -> "pét" -> "péter".
I love etymology! In terms of PIE that means that in "Peter farted five times during fisting.", 4 words have the same root.
🥺🥺🥺
It "was a bit wet", or "I sharted"
Wow, I didn't know😍
A Trump press conference
We call it a wet fart, or say it came with the shaft
Ä furz mit fransle
A fart with a fringe
The act of following through
Fart with "land".
Hilarious! if you don't mind me asking, what is the country of origin?
Germany. More common in middle and northern part of the country I think.
Feuchter Furz
Wet fart
Or:
Da kam Land mit
It cames with ground/land
they farted with splashes/droplets
(kinda, hard to translate, the original is "s-a bășit cu stropi")
I sharted in maths once, had to walk all the way home holding my wet trousers away from my arse. Good times!
I only sharted at home when I was sleeping. All my other stories are about peeing, unfortunately. Sometimes I just want a little warmth again😔
Pète-sauce (gravy fart) in Québec
Salio premiado
It came with a prize
That was a wetty
Government
A stuffed fart or fart with a tail.
My kid said "poop toot" once.
"it came with the shaft" (shaft as in the stick of a shovel or a broomstick)