this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2026
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[–] m3t00@lemmy.world 1 points 4 minutes ago
[–] hodgepodgin@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

it seems like the operation failed. there's fewer dicks in the world now.

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 11 points 2 hours ago

Well, it didn't go as planned, but I wouldn't necessarily call it a failure.

[–] Bakedtaint@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

We've all been there

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 11 points 3 hours ago

lolololololol

It makes me very, very sad to hear of the passing of a billionaire.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 32 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

You think these needledicks would learn from Elons botched surgery.

[–] boaratio@lemmy.world 10 points 4 hours ago

Kanye's mom has entered the chat.

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 45 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

So the operation was a 100% succes.

The poor man died on a table with his cock cut to pieces, what a terribly unfortunate thing to happen.

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

Well shit, if a billionaire can't pull it off, I'm fucked.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 34 points 6 hours ago

Now this is a feel good story

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 41 points 7 hours ago (7 children)

I can't believe being a billionaire wasn't enough for this man, he was still insecure that he felt the need to buy a bigger dick.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but women don't need a gorilla sized dick! They need you to eat them out! (this guy had a wife. We need to ask men if they crave gorilla dicks)

TBF I've known some guys who were size queens.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 15 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Just get a cod piece like respectable humans.

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago
[–] the_mighty_kracken@lemmy.world 24 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

(Gorillas have tiny dicks)

[–] moakley@lemmy.world 10 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe it's a dick the size of a gorilla, not the size of a gorilla's dick.

[–] the_mighty_kracken@lemmy.world 2 points 13 minutes ago

Would you rather fight one dick the size of a gorilla, or one hundred dicks the size of a gorilla dick?

[–] 5too@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

Think they want the whole gorilla

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 6 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

oh my, what's a big dicked beast that would be better suited for this?

[–] T156@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Barnacle. Several times their body size, supposedly.

A cock the size of a barnacle. . . Nope, the phrase just doesn't inspire shock and awe.

[–] E_coli42@lemmy.world 19 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 9 points 4 hours ago

The dick sounds great, but the bacterium is a little offputting, I think.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 9 points 5 hours ago (1 children)
[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 8 points 4 hours ago

No, no... you want a penis that can really do things. You want prehensile! See cetaceans and elephants for more details.

[–] violetring@lemmy.world 13 points 5 hours ago

Not even that bigger. Enlargement surgery is highly risky (even if this guy died of a heart attack), and only promises like 2cm in additional length. Girth increases are slightly more substantial though. It sounds like he was getting the type that is just an injection of fat in the dick, which is comparatively less risky.

The risks involved are wild. A sizable amount of doctors doing enlargements have questionable standings with their local medical boards. It's also not uncommon to find places that are very vague about what they are adding or changing about your body, while promising extreme results. Infections, loss of function, constant erection due to the addition of harder structures, decreased sensitivity are some of the more alarming, yet not uncommon risks. As it's an elective, specialized surgery, practices are often aggressive and manipulative in dealing with clients/potential clients. Is not unheard of for places to require multiple surgeries, when it turns out there were complications with the first one.

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 4 points 5 hours ago

As if you haven't read Great Gatsby back in school. You can't fill the void with money, you can only escape the reality

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

We need to ask men if they crave gorilla dicks)

We, like you, are held to impossible physical standards.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Especially in a place where women have basically no rights.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 37 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

Let this be an example to every surgeon out there that if a billionaire patient dies during or after a surgery:

It can't simply be a statistical death, their trusts will have investigators digging through your trash for years and feeding a team of laywers to find the slightest excuse to end your career even if they die because they were taking party drugs and weren't honest with you.

Its best to just refuse doing surgery on a billionaire.

[–] III@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Or, and hear me out, take one for society like these heroes did.

"Sign here. . . and here. . . Now flop it out on the table. . . Nurse, hand me the claw hammer. . ."

[–] ristoril_zip@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 hours ago
[–] ViceroTempus@lemmy.world 18 points 7 hours ago

1 billionaire down, 3000ish to go.

[–] m3t00@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago
[–] jpreston2005@lemmy.world 71 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

An autopsy later confirmed that Laniado died from cardiac hypertrophy, a condition involving an enlarged heart.

A search of his hotel room revealed he had been taking multiple substances banned in France, along with vasodilators commonly used to treat erectile dysfunction. According to judicial sources, these substances are believed to have contributed to his death.

Ah, so it had nothing to do with the procedure, dude was on a cocktail of his own drugs, didn't tell the doctor, had a heart attack.

So, if it was anyones fault, it was the pathetic billionaires fault. Also anyone who gets rich from diamonds is always, 100%, a scumbag.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 17 points 7 hours ago

He shouldn't have gotten the heart enlargement surgery

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 17 points 8 hours ago

I know many cultures have a taboo on saying anything bad about the dead, but this is my favorite story of the week by a fair margin.

[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 29 points 9 hours ago
[–] ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world 37 points 12 hours ago

“There was something futile and sad about trying to find someone responsible at all costs, following a purely accidental death.“

This was purely a case of litigation because they were a billionaire.

The “unlicensed” surgeon? Had an Algerian degree, which was a French colony, that’s just racism.

They were clearly just throwing charges at them until something stuck, presumably at the rich inheritor’s request.

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