this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 64 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Lol. Lmao. Dude had billions of dollars and fucken died cause he wanted a bigger dick.

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 27 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

To all the kids out there: accept who you are. Love yourself. Be genuine.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 44 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

To all the billionaires out there, keep getting shady, life-threatening surgeries.

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 23 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

To all the billionaires out there: people will never respect you until you have 2 kg of dick. Go show them who's boss!

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

people will never respect you until you have 2 kg of dick.

... that's an integrated part of your body and in the form of a single dick looking appendage.

We don't want buckets of dick strewn around, nor random dicks attached to the torso.

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Oooooh…. Shit…. Could have used this information yesterday….

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

If you are in the buckets category, then pls don't make us accessories to your crimes.

If you have attached dicks to your torso, then don't worry, you'll still get what you can interpret as deference from people. It won't be, but it'll seem like respect.

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I’ve just got the bucket going at the moment, but if you think sticking them on will get me out of legal trouble then I’ll get to gluing them to myself. Gonna be a long day.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 13 hours ago

IDK, IANAL and all that, but super gluing severed penises onto your body at random places may go a long way in arguing insanity.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Also: you totally do know everything there is to know about deep sea submarines

[–] October1@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago

Invite your friends!

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Its not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean!

[–] markko@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

I've never liked this metaphor because when you are sailing you have no control of the ocean. Yes, I am autistic.