Also, who knows what that dude died off? I don't want to be breathing in that dead guy's germs.
this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2026
755 points (97.1% liked)
Funny
13370 readers
2430 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Instead, the airlines should just adopt old sea voyage rules. Die on the plane? Out the back you go, DB Cooper style!
Or, better, give them the old Admiral Nelson treatment! Just stick them in an airtight suitcase with the contents of all of those wee little liquor bottles!
Flight crews cannot declare a passenger dead. Therefore it is a medical emergency until a qualified medical professional does so. A physician on board might do so, but that gets muddy real quick legally.
Also, the diversion for a likely dead person isn’t for the dead person, it’s for the family that would sue the airline for carrying on for however long to the destination. They’d argue whether or not the person might have had a chance had they diverted. So legally and financially an airline will try to get seriously ill or potentially dead people off the plane as soon as practical.
Can't they just make sure they are dead? Put a plastic bag on their head or something? If there's an air marshal on the flight they might have a gun. That would resolve any doubts about their chances real quick.
They've put a whole lot of effort into making those things safe and you're here trying to make them murder vehicles??
Woosh
Aww man? Not again!
load more comments
(2 replies)
What if the person is Rasputin?
Check his ID and make sure he's not.
A doctor AND a lawyer, impressive
even if the head isn't attached on the body anymore?
Might vary by location, UK guidelines:
Obvious examples that may not require the attendance of a medical professional to pronounce death would be a decapitated or badly decomposed body, multiple body disruptive trauma, where a body is severely burnt or has been subjected to prolonged submersion or has been predated by animals (where the body is missing essential parts).
Not sure there are many opportunities for these cases in a flight, but you never know…
I sat next to a cougar on my last flight, and she destroyed my heart.
I think minced by the engine counts
I was an EMT and we were taught you do CPR until pronouncement, except if there's obvious signs of mortality, of which decapitation is one. Livor/rigor mortis. Shoes off. All obvious signs of mortality.
I was once told by an EMT that you do CPR unless the spine is clearly severed in any place. Basically the person doesn't have to be cut in half at the neck. Anywhere above legs counts.
Different folks, different policies and procedures. Ours are similar, barring the shoes. We need socks off or hope remains.
This isn’t Highlander.
“Yet.”
January was pretty fucking mental for a lot of us.
I get it, but it's an emergency for the passenger that has to sit next to a dead guy for the entire flight.
I'd like to think I could get past it, and just bury myself in my phone, but I think it would still creep me out more than I'd like to admit.
Id legitimately prefer sitting next to a corpse than a child or morbidly obese person
Sitting next to a child is tame. I was forced to go to a family gathering and we went to a restaurant and one of the relatives on my table had a kid (like less than 10 years old) that was just fucking DROOLING OVER THE PLATE and the USE THEIR SALIAVA-FILLED-HANDS TO TOUCH THE FOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE 😱🤢🤮
God damn use the clean chopsticks that's on the plates, jesus christ.
I knew to be using 公筷 (shared chopsticks) when I was 8 years old, especially when in public. And I never fucking DROOL over the plates...
aaaaaah I wanted to scream there, but I didn't wanna cause a scene, so I just didn't say anything about that kid CONTAMINATING ALL THE FOOD.
Pretty sure I got sick that night...
(It was 2024 December btw, still remember how much my mom just forced me to go to stupid family gathering)
What about a morbidly dead obese? Does it cancel out? What if the cause of mortality was being morbidded by obesity?
Depends how old the corpse is. Might get kind of gross if the heads rotten enough to roll of their shoulders onto your lap.
Nah, seats are for the living. Yeet the body off the aircraft, sky burial.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Does anyone have a link to the skit where cops were called on a guy hauling his dead dad in a wheelbarrow through the neighborhood?
Went something like -
Cop: We got calls of a body being hauled through the neighborhood in a wheelbarrow.
Guy: Yup, that's me.
Cop: Why didn't you call 911?
Guy: 911 is for emergencies. I woke up and he was already dead. So no emergency.
Cop: Why does that kind of make a ton of sense?
load more comments
(1 replies)
tell that to the passenger strapped next to the dead guy for however many hours.
Dude already made his connection, why does everyone else have to miss theirs?
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next ›